Roxanne Quits
by DisneyFanatic2364
Summary: Roxanne is sick of the same kidnapping routine and decides to give it all up.
1. Same Old, Same Old

**When am I gonna stop? This one just kept nagging me. This is set about three years before the events of the movie. I guess the title says it all.**

**Disclaimer: As much as I'd like to, I do not own Megamind.**

* * *

It was noon by the time Roxanne finally got to the station. Metro Man had dropped her off after hauling Megamind to prison. Most of the other employees were packing up for lunch, giving her their usual condolences. Some of them glared at her, because she always had an excuse for being late.

She knew exactly what her boss was going to say the minute he walked in.

"How are you feeling, Miss Ritchi? You're not too traumatized for work, are you?"

Her prediction was right, of course. _Same old, same old_, she thought. _I wish something different would happen._

Her wish came true sooner than expected. After his usual greeting, Mr. Stubbs said, "I have a special assignment for you, Roxanne."

"It's not another report about Metro Man, is it?" Roxanne groaned.

"Oh no, this is quite different. We have a student from Metro City University taking our summer internship. She wants a career in journalism and since you're the best reporter we have, I'd like you to be responsible for her. You don't mind, do you?"

Roxanne thought this over. Supervising an intern would mean more work, but it would probably be a good change in her daily routine. Plus, it also meant less alone time with Hal.

"Okay, let's see her."

In a few minutes, Mr. Stubbs returned with a twenty-year-old woman with long wavy blond hair. As soon as she saw the famous reporter, her hazel eyes sparkled.

"Oh my gosh!" she squealed. "It's really you! Roxanne Ritchi! I'm a huge fan! Can I have your autograph?"

Mr. Stubbs cleared his throat and the young blond composed herself.

"I mean, it's an honor to meet you, Miss Ritchi."

"Roxanne, meet Lizzie Lyons," Mr. Stubbs introduced. "She will be working here for six weeks and will accompany you on your assignments. For now, why don't you and Mr. Stewart take her to lunch? He should be over by the van."

"Mr. Who?" Lizzie asked.

"He's my cameraman," Roxanne explained with a smile, "and we would love to take you to lunch."

"Awesome! I mean…thank you for your trouble, Miss Ritchi."

She couldn't help but laugh. "No trouble at all and call me Roxanne."

Excited, Lizzie Lyons followed her new boss down to the garage. Roxanne searched for Hal and found him behind their van.

"Hi, Roxie!" the short, chubby cameraman exclaimed. "I heard you were kidnapped again. If you want to get some lunch, it would make you feel better…"

"That would be nice, Hal."

Hal was surprised. "Really?"

"Sure, if you don't mind our new intern joining us."

His smile faded. "Oh, right. Mr. Stubbs told me about him, so who is…?"

As soon as he caught a glimpse of Lizzie standing a few feet away, he shrieked and ducked behind the van.

"Hal?" Roxanne inquired.

"I'm not here!" he whispered.

Roxanne glanced back at Lizzie. "Would you excuse us for a second?" She knelt down beside Hal. "What's the matter with you?"

"I know that girl," Hal explained. "She lived next-door to me in Grand Rapids!"

"Really? Small world. But why are you hiding from her?"

"Because when we were kids, she had a crush on me!"

Roxanne found that one even harder to believe. "Really?"

"Well, she never admitted it, but come on, who could resist the Great Halbino?" The reporter shook her head. "She kissed me in a game of Spin the Bottle. I babysat her every other week or so. She and I were in the AV club together. How could she _not_ fall for me?"

"Gee, where can I begin?"

"Exactly! She can't see me with you! What if she finds out we have a thing going on?"

Roxanne rolled her eyes. "We don't have a thing."

"Well, maybe not, but what if she thinks that?"

"Trust me, she won't. Besides, if you don't have feelings for her, why do you care?"

"She'd get really jealous and probably hate me for the rest of my life. I may not like her, like her, but I still like her."

"Hey Roxanne," Lizzie called, "what's going on back there?"

"You can't avoid her forever, Hal," Roxanne told him. "Worst-case scenario is that she'll be glad to see you again."

He struggled, but she managed to drag him into the open. Lizzie's eyes sparkled again and her mouth dropped into a huge smile.

"Hal Stewart?" she exclaimed.

Hal grinned nervously. "Uh, hi Lizzie."

"You remember me?"

"Of course, who could forget the girl who beat my high score at _Pac-Man_?"

She flung her arms around him, much to Hal's shock. "God, I can't believe it! I didn't know you were Roxanne Ritchi's cameraman! Gosh, you've changed. Have you gained weight?"

Hal cringed. "Yeah, a little. You've, um, gotten taller."

"Yep. A lot has happened in…how long's it been?"

"Seven years."

"Right! I was thirteen and you were eighteen. Now look at us! You're a cameraman and I'm in college! Gosh, we have so much to catch up on!"

Roxanne cut in. "And you can do that over lunch."

* * *

Hal had been trying for years to get social time with Roxanne, and now the one time she had agreed to have lunch with him, they still weren't alone. He kept glancing nervously at Lizzie as she talked. She had explained that she was doing a double major in Journalism and Digital Media, not sure whether she wanted to be a reporter or a technician.

Of all the news stations in the world, of all the cities for that matter, why did Lizzie have to pick this one? Part of him was glad to see her again, while another part was annoyed, while a third part was freaking out that his old almost girlfriend and his new almost girlfriend were in the same room together.

Okay, so maybe Lizzie hadn't almost been his girlfriend. She was five years younger, after all, but at one point, back when he was eighteen, he had considered it. That had been the day she had beaten his high score in _Pac-Man_. That had only been for a moment, though. Their age difference had dismissed the idea.

Roxanne could see the increasing discomfort in Hal and decided to have some fun.

"So you and Hal go way back, huh?"

Hal winced, but Lizzie's eyes did their usual sparkle.

"Oh, you don't know the half of it! This guy here was the best babysitter ever! He let me stay up as long as I wanted and didn't tattle on me! My parents were very busy, you see, so he and I would hang out a lot."

"Did you two ever…get serious?"

Hal looked like he was going to faint.

"Oh, heavens, no!" Lizzie exclaimed. "He was too old, you see. No offense, Hal. Though there was this one time at Patricia Martin's party…"

"Hey, Roxanne!" Hal interrupted. "Why don't you tell us about your kidnapping today?"

He never wanted to hear about the kidnappings or anything that had to do with Metro Man, so Roxanne figured he must have been desperate. Now she was blushing red.

"Oh, yes!" Lizzie insisted. "You must feel _so_ lucky to have a boyfriend like Metro Man to rescue you from danger! That is _so_ romantic!"

"It's not as great as you think," Roxanne replied. "There's the fact that being his girlfriend is the reason I get kidnapped all the time. Megamind always pulls the same routine with the same plans and the same traps…"

"What's he like?"

"Stubborn, egotistical, predictable…"

"No, what's _Metro Man_ like?"

"Oh. He's okay, I guess."

"Okay? Is that all you can say? The guy's a total dream!"

She stared off into space. Hal groaned. "He's not all that great."

"Oh, what I'd give to have him take me in his arms and carry me away!" She then remembered Roxanne was there. "But of course, he's _your_ boyfriend."

"Yeah," Roxanne murmured. "Right."

"You're _so_ lucky."

_Not so much_, Roxanne thought.

* * *

The next week, Roxanne woke up and knew what was going to happen. Sack lifted from head, Megamind turns in chair, "Miss Ritchi, we meet again," "You still haven't washed the bag," he waits for a scream, they banter and he calls Metro Man. He comes, destroys Megamind's machine, takes him to jail, and takes her home.

The next week, the exact same thing happens, just like the week before and the week before that.

Now Roxanne was reporting a bank robbery with halfhearted energy. Hal was holding the camera with Lizzie standing behind him and watching excitedly.

"Once again," she sighed, "the Metro City bank is being robbed. The thieves are holding everyone inside hostage." Five seconds later. "Oh look, here comes Metro Man." Two seconds later. "And yes, Metro Man now has the criminals in custody. Of course he does. Who would have doubted it? The guy has super powers, so of course he's going to save the day! He does it without even trying, so of course he saved this day, just as he did the yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that!"

"Okay!" Hal exclaimed, switching the camera off. "I think that's enough."

"You okay, Roxanne?" Lizzie inquired. "I may have only known you for about two and a half weeks, but you don't seem like yourself today."

The reporter took a deep breath. "You're right. I'm sorry. I've just…been in a rut lately. I feel like I'm living the same day over and over again."

"That's weird, it's not Groundhog Day."

"I don't mean literally. It's just that the same thing seems to be happening to me every day."

"I know how to change that," Hal said. "How about you and I get some coffee together?"

Roxanne held her head as she groaned and stormed away.

"What'd I do?" Hal wondered.

"You ask her that every single day," Lizzie pointed out. "How come you never invite _me_ for a coffee?"

The cameraman bit his lip. "I…I don't want Roxanne to feel left out."

"But _I _feel left out. If she ever goes out with you, what am I supposed to do?"

Hal grinned. "Are you jealous?"

"What? No! It just seems kind of unfair since we're all supposed to be a team here."

"You're just a temporary member. It's not like you're ever going to be a real reporter."

"Excuse me?"

"Come on, you're camera shy. Don't think I don't know about the time you pretended to be sick on School Picture Day."

"I…I was a child then! I'm braver now!"

"Oh really? Well, we usually interview Metro Man after a bank robbery, and if Roxanne doesn't come back, you're going to have to step up."

Lizzie froze. "You're bluffing, right?"

"Maybe, but if you're really not camera shy…"

"I'm going to see if Roxanne is okay."

She headed in the direction her boss had run, searching for her through the crowd of police officers who were taking the criminals into custody. She stopped when she stepped on something. Underneath her foot was Roxanne's microphone. Then she heard the sound of a speeding car, but didn't see one anywhere. It didn't take long for Lizzie to figure out what had happened.

* * *

When Roxanne awoke in darkness, she groaned. _Oh no, not this again._ She heard Megamind hustling to his chair, ordering Minion to remove the bag. The blue alien turned, stroking the dome of a Brainbot.

"Miss Ritchi, we meet again."

Roxanne sighed. "Yes, just like last time, and the time before that."

He didn't seem to notice her mood. "Wait until I see what I have in store for you, Miss Ritchi!"

"Does it involve alligators?"

"I'll give you a hint, it involves alligators!" He paused, processing the past few lines of dialogue. "Yes. Anyway, I hope you know how to swim!"

He pulled a lever and the floor opened up to reveal the pool of alligators. Roxanne hung her head back and let out a loud groan.

"Is that a scream I hear?" Megamind asked excitedly. "So you finally cower in fear at my evilness?"

Roxanne didn't answer, which confused the villain.

"Um, I see that you are speechless with terror! Don't worry. I have a special treat for you, Miss Ritchi."

"Let me guess…"

"You are going to have a front row seat…"

"…a front row seat for the destruction of Metro Man," Roxanne finished with him. "You used that line last week."

"Did I?" Megamind pondered.

"And that so-called destruction had the same results as the week before and the week before that and all the other times!"

"Yeah, well, don't expect to get a refund!"

He waited for the reporter's counterattack, but she was silent. He glanced at Minion, who only shrugged. He leaned toward her.

"Um, Miss Ritchi, this banter only works if you give me something to work with."

When she still didn't respond, Megamind started explaining his plan.

"So the other day, I discovered a sticky substance humans like to eat called 'bobble gum.'"

"It's _bubble_ gum, sir," Minion corrected.

"Yes. Anyway, with this impressive ray you see here, I will squirt Metro Man with this bobble gum and he will be so sticky that he'll be incapable of performing his heroic duties! Thus will enable me to destroy…"

She stopped listening at that point. She knew what was coming: destroy Metro Man, take over the city and then blah, blah, blah, evil laugh, blah, blah, blah.

It was the same old thing.

She didn't even listen to his shout out to Metro Man, knowing that it wouldn't be any different than all the other times. He then turned to her and cackled.

"Your boyfriend in tights will never save you, for when he gets here, he'll be all covered in sticky gooey pink…stuff. And once I take over the city, Miss Ritchi, you will have no choice but to bow down to…"

"Oh, for the love of Pete, would you just SHUT UP?!"

Megamind took a step back, shocked at two things. First that he had no idea who Pete was and second that Roxanne had just shouted at him. She had never done a thing like that before and it threw him off.

His head was back in the game when Metro Man crashed through the roof.

"Metro Man," he sneered. "Glad you could make it, but I'm afraid you've brought yourself into a sticky situation!"

He fired his bubble gum ray, but Metro Man dodged it, just as he had dodged all the other rays. Then he destroyed it, just as he had done all the others. Then he took Megamind by the cape and scooped up Roxanne with the other arm. He dropped the villain off at the prison, just as he had done before.

"So Roxanne," he said, "I was thinking that even though we've only been pretending to be a couple, we could…"

"For the hundredth time," Roxanne snapped angrily, "it's NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN!"

Metro Man said nothing else for the rest of the way to the news station.

When he flew away, Roxanne immediately felt bad. She had just snapped at Metro Man _and_ Megamind. Even though they both drove her crazy, she hadn't wanted to hurt them. What made her feel worse is that she hadn't apologized to either of them. Well, the latter didn't really matter. Still, he had looked pretty hurt.

She hung her head as she walked up to the office, taking a deep breath every five seconds to calm her frustration. When she opened the door, she was swarmed by people.

"Are you alright, Roxanne?"

"What happened?"

"Did Metro Man throw Megamind in jail?"

"You must be so traumatized!"

Roxanne tried to push through them, but then was met with Lizzie.

"God, Roxanne! When you disappeared I totally panicked! I know this happens all the time but I'm totally not used to this!"

She tried to respond when Hal appeared at Lizzie's side.

"Hey, Roxie, I tried to stop the kidnapping, but you know, those bank robbers got away and I had to defend myself…"

"You did nothing but stand there!" Lizzie exclaimed.

"At least I wasn't flailing my arms around like a freak!"

"Guys," Roxanne started to say, "I'm fine, I'm…"

"How are you feeling, Miss Ritchi?" her boss interrupted. "I hope you aren't too traumatized for work. I will need a full report on your kidnapping today."

The chattering, condolences, praise and orders all rose into a cacophony which pricked Roxanne's ears like a thousand needles. The pain went to her brain, eventually leading it to a boil. Finally, she could no longer contain it.

"That's it!" she shouted. "I've had it! I'm fed up! I can't take this anymore! I QUIT!"

Then she stomped out of the office and slammed the door, leaving everyone paralyzed in shock.

* * *

**Lizzie was in one of my earlier stories Attack of the Mega Clones. I just felt she needed more.**

**And yes, I'm working on the other ones, they're just coming along slowly. _Very_ slowy.**


	2. Break Ups

**Thanks to those who have reviewed so far. Here's another chapter! Oh, if Roxanne or Megamind seem OOC, well, if I were mad, I certainly wouldn't be acting like myself either.**

* * *

"Maybe she was kidding," Hal told Mr. Stubbs once the crowd had separated. "Roxie wouldn't really quit. Would she?"

"She looked pretty steamed, Hal," Lizzie said.

"But she _can't_ have quit! Where am I supposed to find a girlf…reporter as hot…I mean good as Roxanne?"

"Well," their boss shrugged, "it's a shame, but we have to move forward. Lizzie, you're going to have to takeover Roxanne's reports until we can find a new reporter."

Lizzie froze. "What?"

Hal smirked. "Oh, what a big opportunity!"

"Indeed," Mr. Stubbs agreed, "considering you'll be working with her."

"Wait, what? I have to babysit her _again_?"

"If there's a problem, you could always look for another job."

"On second thought…"

"But Mr. Stubbs," Lizzie started to say.

"No buts," Mr. Stubbs interrupted. "This will be good work experience for you. Isn't that why you came here?" The phone inside Mr. Stubbs' office rang. "One minute."

He left the two alone.

"Are you okay, Lizzie?" Hal asked. "You look as pale as a vampire."

"I…I just…" she wheezed. "I…on TV…"

"Yeah, in front of millions of people."

The woman collapsed on the ground.

"Miss Lyons, Mr. Stewart," Mr. Stubbs called as he walked in, "I need you to get down to the…" He then noticed Lizzie. "What happened here?"

"She fainted," Hal explained.

"Well, wake her up. The prison just called. Apparently, Megamind's not in jail."

"He broke out already? How'd he do it this time?"

"You're not going to believe this."

* * *

Back at the Evil Lair, Megamind and Minion were laughing and dancing around.

"Best escape plan ever!" Megamind exclaimed.

"How long do you think before they notice?" Minion asked.

"Any second now! We should check the news for Miss Ritchi's report."

He tuned into KMCP, but instead of Roxanne, there was a young blond standing terrified on the screen.

"Who on Earth is that?" Megamind inquired. "Where's Miss Ritchi?"

"Maybe they just gave her the rest of the day off," Minion assured him.

The blond onscreen was still standing still.

"_Uh, Lizzie, we're live_," someone off-camera whispered.

"_Oh, right_," the blond said, composing herself. "_Um, good afternoon, Lizzie Lyons, I'm Metro City. No wait. I'm Lizzie Lyons and I'm, um, in prison. Not in prison, but at the prison in which Megamind broke out. Yeah, that's what this report is about_."

"Wow," Minion marveled. "She's…"

"Horrible," Megamind confirmed.

"Yeah, horrible."

"_So yeah_," Lizzie continued. "_Megamind broke out again. Well, technically, he didn't break out. He wasn't put in jail in the first place. Instead, Metro Man brought in a_…" She knelt down and lifted up a life-sized stuffed doll of Megamind. "Wow, this thing is heavier than I…" Then she fell over. The camera panned down to her on the ground.

"_Hal, turn it off_," she demanded. "_Turn it off! I can see the red light_!" There was a snicker. Lizzie sat up angrily. "_It's not funny, Hal! Hal_!"

The camera cut as the furious woman lunged toward it.

"Well," Minion said, "that was interesting."

"That woman ruined my brilliant escape!" Megamind grunted. "How dare Miss Ritchi take a day off and let _her_ report it?"

"I'm sure she had a good reason."

"I don't care what her reason was, it's completely inconvenient!"

"Sir, where are you going?"

"I'm running an errand!"

"You're going over to Miss Ritchi's place, aren't you?"

"Of course I am!"

As he got on his hover bike, the screen switched to a male journalist sitting in a studio.

"_Yes, that was our new intern, Lizzie Lyons. Unfortunately, Roxanne Ritchi is no longer working for our station, as she had resigned this morning_."

Minion's eyes widened. "Sir! Miss Ritchi has…" But it was too late, his boss had already flown out.

* * *

Roxanne switched off the television and took out her cell phone. _Any second now._ It rang the ringtone of death.

"Roxanne Regina Ritchi!" a middle-aged woman screeched. "What's this I hear about you quitting your job? How do you expect to feed yourself? You want to end up like your sister? You want to wait tables in…?"

"Nice to hear from you, too, Mom," Roxanne said before hanging up.

Just as she had expected, her phone rang again, playing a happier tune.

"Hey, Rachel," she said.

"Gosh, how do you do that?" her sister asked on the other end. "I know there's caller ID and ringtones and all that, but you always pick up the second I call!"

"Call it intuition."

"Anyway, I just saw the news. Is it true?"

"Yes, it's true." Then she explained everything.

"So you just walked out of the office? Just like that? You didn't even hand in a letter of resignation?"

"Oh, I'll just mail it to him. Besides, I think I made my resignation pretty clear."

"So what are you going to do now? You've been working at KMCP since college. You gonna find another station or something?"

"I don't know, maybe…" She stopped at the tap on her balcony window and then groaned. "Someone's at the door. I'll call you back."

She hung up and went over to open the balcony doors, unsurprised to see the city's hero standing there.

"Thank you for knocking this time," she said, gesturing for him to come in.

"I saw the news," Metro Man declared.

"I thought so."

"That girl was awful."

"She's an intern. It wasn't her fault."

"You quit your job?"

"Yep, there it is."

"What's going on, Roxanne? I thought you loved being a reporter."

Roxanne bit her lip. "I do love being a reporter. I just quit being a reporter at KMCP."

"What happened? Did your boss lower your pay? Has that cameraman been bothering you again?"

"It wasn't about the job, it was about…" She took a breath. "Look, Wayne, I'm tired of this act. I can't pretend to be your girlfriend anymore. I want a real relationship, I want to be able to go home without worrying about a spray can or Forget-Me-Stick, and I want people to stop freaking out every time I get kidnapped. I just need a fresh start, that's all."

Metro Man raised an eyebrow. "So, are we still a couple or not?"

Roxanne rolled her eyes. "No, Wayne, we aren't."

"Oh, okay. I get it. You're tired of this game. Still, it's not gonna be the same if I'm rescuing someone else."

"Well, this gives you a chance to find a girl who will love you and will be a better damsel in distress. But first off, you gotta tell the press that we've broken up."

"Right."

They stood there awkwardly for a while.

"So, um," Metro Man stammered. "I guess I'll see you around?"

"Yeah, sure," Roxanne nodded. "By the way, how did you not notice it was a stuffed mannequin?"

"I'd rather not talk about it, okay?"

And without another word, the hero flew out the glass doors. Roxanne needed something to calm her nerves, so she went to the kitchen to get a tub of chocolate frosting. She was on her tenth spoonful when she heard the balcony doors opening.

"Wayne," she called, "how my times have I told you to knock before you…?"

She stopped in her tracks, seeing that for the first time today, she was wrong. Instead of Metro Man, the person who was now standing in her living room was Megamind. For some reason, he looked very nervous.

Roxanne was almost too stunned to speak. "What are you doing here?"

The villain straightened up. "I believe, Miss Ritchi, the real question is, what are _you_ doing here?"

"I _live_ here, and you're trespassing. I can call the police right now and…"

"Let me rephrase the question. Why are you _here_, instead of at work?"

"Didn't you see the news?"

"Yes, unfortunately."

"Then you know why."

"I know that there's some idiot blond reporting my escape plan and not…"

"Hey, I happen to know that girl! It was her first report! She's just nervous, that's all."

"I will ask again, why was _she_ reporting my escape instead of _you_?"

"What? _I_ need to be the one to report everything you do?"

"Of course! You're my kidnapping victim as well as the most presentable reporter in Metrocity! You've reported every one of my escapes for the past four years and you choose my most brilliant one to take a day off?"

"A day off? Exactly how much of the news did you watch?"

"Please, as if I was going to watch that rocky reporter any longer!"

"It's _rookie_, and if you had stayed in front of the TV long enough, you would've heard that I'd quit!"

"I don't care whether she's rocky or not, she's still a horrible…wait, what was that?"

Roxanne breathed. "Let me say it slowly: I. Quit. My. Job."

Megamind stood there stiff, trying to process this. "You _quit_ your _job_?"

"You really catch on quick, don't you?"

"But…you…you're my captive! The villain always kidnaps the reporter! You have to be a reporter!"

"Where does it say that?"

"Everywhere!"

"Really?"

"Name one superhero girlfriend who wasn't a reporter."

"Spiderman's, Batman's, Ironman's, Captain America's…"

"I said name _one_! And Batman has had too many girlfriends to count!"

"Look, I'm still a reporter. I just quitted being a reporter for KMCP."

Megamind sighed contently. "Oh, well that's a relief. Well, with your skills, you're sure to find a new job soon. Can you find one by next Thursday? See, I have a busy schedule, but if you hurry with your job search, I can squeeze you in…"

"Now hold up!" Roxanne protested. "There is no way you're kidnapping me again!"

"Don't be silly, Miss Ritchi, of course I'm kidnapping you again. You know the rule: you date the hero, the villain kidnaps you for bait."

"We're not dating!"

"Come on, you've tried that with me before. It didn't work then, and it most certainly won't work now."

"I broke up with him!"

"Oh, I know _that_ one's a lie." Then he looked at her expression more closely. "Wait, are you serious?"

She nodded. "Yes, I broke up with him just now."

"But…why? He's a superhero. He's got the powers, the strength, the hair!" He was completely baffled. "I just don't understand you today! First, you don't cooperate with my evil plan, then you quit your job and then you dump Metro Man! What's going on here? Was it something he did?"

She said nothing, just stood there, arms crossed, eyes glaring right at him. He then recalled her mood earlier and how she had snapped at him. He then pointed to himself.

"Was it something…_I_ did?"

Roxanne closed her eyes and gritted her teeth, feeling the frustration building up inside her.

"Something you did? Something you _did_?! Try _everything_ you've done! Every single second of every single day, I just know you're gonna pop up somewhere and just ruin it! I just know that you're gonna bring out a big ray or a tank of alligators for a stupid plan that obviously won't work! And what do I get out of it?" She advanced towards him and poked him repeatedly in the chest. "I'm always late for work, because of you! I miss out on a date, because of you! I don't even have time to spend with my family and friends, because of you! My life is just one big rut, BECAUSE OF YOU!"

Megamind was speechless. "I…I…"

But Roxanne wouldn't let him. "I never asked for any of this! Metro Man and I weren't even dating when you started kidnapping me! You just had to swoop in that day and make my life complicated! Well, I'm sorry, Megamind, but it all ends here!"

"Now see here, Miss Ritchi!" the villain protested angrily. "The fact that you're not Metro Man's girlfriend anymore won't stop me from kidnapping you."

"Then what will it take?"

"Oh, I don't know. You'd just have to leave Metrocity!"

"You know what? I think I'll do just that!"

"Good!" Then he covered his mouth, shocked at what he had just said. "Wait, I wasn't serious!"

"Well, _I_ was!"

"But…" he stammered. "You…you _can't_ leave!"

Roxanne crossed her arms. "And why not?"

"Well…I…who…who am I supposed to kidnap?"

"I don't know. There are lots of people in the city, I'm sure you can find someone easy enough to be scared of you!"

"Impossible! I can't kidnap someone else!"

"Why not?"

_Uh oh_, he thought. _She's got me._ "Because…because…because it would be entirely inconvenient for me. I mean…for Minion."

She raised an eyebrow. "For_ Minion_?"

"Um, yes! He knows what kind of desserts you like and don't like, and if the next kidnapping victim is allergic to nuts or diabetic…"

"That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard!"

"Well…I…fine! Leave Metrocity! I don't care what you do! I'll find another person to kidnap, one who knows how to scream!"

"Good for you!"

He turned furiously and stomped towards the balcony. "I hope you'll be very happy in your new life!"

"Well, I hope you'll be happy too!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"And I never want to see you again!"

"Fine by me!"

Then he slammed the glass doors, almost causing them to shatter. Roxanne turned away from them and grunted. She had never felt so mad before, and yet, another part of her felt…sad. Why was that? Maybe it was the fact that she had quit a job that she had loved. Maybe it was the fact that she had just said she was moving from Metro City.

Or maybe it was the fact that she had just told Megamind that she had never wanted to see him again.

* * *

**Honestly, it was fun writing this one. Reviews are appreciated.**


	3. Headaches

**More to read!**

* * *

"Well," Hal said to Lizzie as they were driving from the station, "that could've gone better."

The intern was sitting in the passenger seat, her head buried in her hands.

"That was the most humiliating thing that has ever happened to me."

"Aw, I'm sure that's not true. Remember when you had fallen face-first into Patricia Martin's birthday cake?"

She glared up at him. "No, this beats it. I've just embarrassed myself in front of millions of people! Why didn't you turn the camera off when I'd asked you to?"

Hal snickered. "It was too hilarious an opportunity to pass up."

She punched him in the arm, causing him to lose control of the van for a moment.

"Ow!" he cried. "Are you nuts? We could've crashed!"

"Good! That would've put both of us out of our misery!"

"_Both_ of us?"

"Well, my career as a reporter has just ended before it's even started and you're digging on a girl that you have no chance with!"

He stopped the van. "Now wait a minute! That was uncalled for!"

"So was filming my fall!"

"At least I'm not the one who's too chicken to take one lousy school picture!"

Tears welled up in Lizzie's eyes as she jumped out of the vehicle.

"Wait, Lizzie," Hal called, stepping out to chase after her, "I didn't mean it."

"Just leave me alone!" Lizzie shouted without looking at him. "You know I used to look up to you when I was a kid? I thought you were the coolest guy ever, but now you're just a big jerk!"

That one stung him real hard. "Now, Lizzie…I…wait…I can't…"

He tried running after her, but the lack of exercise made him tire easily. So he stopped to catch his breath. Lizzie heard this and turned back to him. Once Hal could breathe again, he walked over to her.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? It's just that when we were kids I thought…" He trailed off.

"You thought what?" Lizzie choked.

"Never mind. The point is, it was wrong of me to do that. The thing with the camera, I mean. Hey, I know what might make you feel better. You still like ice cream?"

She sniffed. "Yeah."

"How about a Lizzie Special?"

Her eyes brightened up a bit. "Three scoops of chocolate chip cookie dough with caramel sauce and whipped cream?"

"Don't forget the double cherry on top."

She didn't know whether to squeeze him or simply nod. She went with the latter.

* * *

Roxanne needed a place to cool down. She had considered the bar, but went to the ice cream shop instead. After all, an ice cream headache was less dangerous than a hangover, but just as effective. When she entered the bright, colorful shop, she saw Lizzie and Hal sitting at a table, eating ice cream and laughing.

_Oh, there is no way,_ she thought as she went over to greet them. "What have we got here?"

Lizzie and Hal looked up.

"Roxie!" the latter replied, suddenly looking nauseated. "Lizzie and I were…well…this isn't what it looks like!"

"Mind if I join you?" Roxanne asked.

"Oh, sure! You know, even though we're not working together anymore, you're always welcome to…"

"So Lizzie," she interrupted, pulling up a chair. "You feeling okay?"

The intern glanced down at her bowl of ice cream. "Oh, you saw my report."

"Well, yeah."

She hid her face in her hands. "I was so awful! Everyone's calling me 'That Dumb Blond Intern.' I might never get a job anywhere after this! I'll never be a reporter!"

"Hey," Roxanne said, patting her on the back. "It was your first day. You were just nervous, that's all. What did Mr. Stubbs say?"

"He said he'd give me another chance, but I have to clean up my act. Another slip-up and I'm fired. Or worse, I'll be fetching everyone's coffee for the rest of the summer!"

"It's okay. People make mistakes, and you'll get through this one."

"Easy for you to say. You _never_ make mistakes!"

Roxanne then thought of her spat with Megamind earlier, but then shook it out of her head.

"Listen," she said slowly. "I remember my first report and it was scary. I also started out as an intern, you know? I was too nervous to move, worried that I was going to mess up."

Lizzie moved her hands away from her face. "How did you get through it?"

"To be honest, I thought of my little sister. I was always able to do practice reports in front of her and she never cared if I messed up. So I pretended that the camera was my little sister."

"Did it work?"

"Yep. In fact, Mr. Stubbs was quite impressed with my performance."

"That's really sappy," Hal mumbled.

"That's brilliant!" Lizzie exclaimed. "Except I'm an only child."

"So?" Roxanne shrugged. "Just think of someone you can talk with easily and pretend you're talking to them. Trust me, the fear will go away."

Lizzie pondered on this while Roxanne got up to order three scoops of chocolate.

"So what's the plan?" Hal asked once she had returned. "I mean with you? Now that you're unemployed, what're you gonna do?"

"Well," Roxanne stammered, taking a big bite of ice cream. "I've been thinking of…moving."

"Where? Into a new apartment?" An idea came to him. "You know, you could always move in with me."

He yelped as Lizzie kicked him under the table.

"No," Roxanne replied, shaking her head. "I meant I might move out of Metro City."

Both of her former colleagues choked on their ice cream.

"Are you serious?" Hal exclaimed.

"Haven't you lived here your whole life?" Lizzie inquired.

The older woman nodded. "I just need a fresh start."

"Look, I know you're upset and all, but moving out of the city, isn't that a bit extreme?"

"Yeah," Hal agreed. "I mean, why were you so upset in the first place?"

That earned him another kick from Lizzie. Roxanne sighed and put it bluntly.

"It's the kidnappings. I'm sick of them. I even broke up with Metro Man to get out of them."

The two choked again, despite the lack of ice cream in their throats.

"You mean you're available?" Hal gasped.

"You mean he's available?" Lizzie said. "I mean, gosh, it must have been hard for both of you."

Roxanne rolled her eyes. "Not really. We didn't have a whole lot of chemistry anyway."

"But the way he saves you all the time, the way he risks his life… How could you give that up?"

"You've never been kidnapped by Megamind."

"Well, even if he did kidnap me, I certainly wouldn't get tired of being rescued by one hunk of a hero!" She sighed. "Can you imagine it?"

"Don't have to. I've experienced it a thousand too many times."

"So are you available or not?" Hal asked again.

"No, I'm not going out with you."

"That's not what I asked!"

"You were thinking it." She put down her spoon. "You know what? I think I'll take this to go."

She might have offended Hal and maybe Lizzie, but she just wanted to be alone right now. Plus, she had living arrangements to think about.

* * *

The next morning, Mr. Stubbs gave Lizzie a new assignment.

"Metro Man wants an interview outside of City Hall. He says he has a big announcement to make."

"What about?" Lizzie asked, though she had already guessed.

"He didn't say, only that it's important."

She turned to leave. "Lizzie." She froze in her tracks. "Let me remind you that I'm only giving you this chance because you're new at this and I have confidence that you will be a great reporter."

She faced him. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because Miss Ritchi didn't think she was cut out for reporting either, but look how she had turned out. She may have resigned, but she was the best reporter this station's ever had. I think you'll be just as great, maybe even better."

Lizzie was still uncertain, but she smiled in thanks.

* * *

Sooner than she'd thought, she found herself outside of City Hall, a microphone in her hands, the camera right in front of her. She gripped the handle of the mic until her hands were numb.

"Where is he?" Hal wondered, searching the skies. "We're supposed to be on air in less than a minute!" He then noticed Lizzie's nervousness. "You okay?"

"I can't do this, Hal!" she exclaimed. "I'm gonna mess up! What's even worse, _Metro Man's_ gonna be here! Not only will I embarrass myself in front of the world, but I'll embarrass myself in front of him! He'll think I'm a loser! That will be true once I lose my job! I won't get college credit! I'll flunk out of school! And then…"

"Lizzie!" Hal cried. "Get a hold of yourself! None of that is gonna happen!"

"How can you be sure?"

He sighed. "Look, I know this sounds lame, but try that trick Roxanne told you about yesterday. If that doesn't work, just remember that I'll be right here in front of you the whole time."

She was about to respond when Metro Man appeared in front of her. She dropped her mic.

"Oh my god!" she shrieked. "Oh my _god_! It's really you!"

"Yeah," Metro Man said, flashing a smile. "It's me."

"I'm Lizzie Lyons! It's such an honor, sir! I'm one of your biggest fans!"

The hero scrutinized her. "Wait, aren't you the reporter who replaced Roxanne?"

The young woman's excitement vanished. "Um, maybe. Look, I'm new at this, okay? I promise I'll be better this time!"

"Hey, guys!" Hal called. "We're on in twenty seconds!"

Lizzie hastened to pick up her mic and straighten out her blouse. She made sure her ponytail was intact before reluctantly taking her place in front of the camera.

_You can do this_, she tried telling herself. _Come on, Lizzie, you can do this. Just pretend the camera is someone you can easily talk to._

She tried this tactic, but it didn't work. She couldn't think of anyone.

"Okay," Hal said, "we're on in ten, nine…"

Seeing her tension, he gave Lizzie a thumbs-up. Suddenly, the camera wasn't there anymore, only Hal. Just as Roxanne had said, the fear washed away.

* * *

Megamind was sitting at his desk, his head cradled in his hands. Minion came in with a box of donuts.

"Here you go, sir," he offered.

"I thought you wanted me to lower my sugar consumption."

"I think you need it, sir."

He grabbed a donut and chomped on it, turning his chair to face Minion. "What am I supposed to do now, Minion? How am I supposed to carry on with this villain career?"

"Without Miss Ritchi, you mean?"

"No. Yes. Well, maybe."

"I tried to tell you that she had quit, but _no_, you had to go straight to her apartment!"

"You can nag me later, Minion! Right now I'm trying to think."

He couldn't think, so he started surfing the TV channels. Then Minion made the most unthinkable suggestion:

"We could always kidnap someone else, sir."

He stopped his thumb and felt like throwing the remote at the fish. The thing was that Roxanne was the only person he had ever kidnapped. Their whole routine had been going on for four years. He could not simply start it all over with someone else.

"Even if that were a possible solution, Minion," he said, "where could we find someone so easy yet so appropriate to kidnap on such short notice?"

"_Good morning, Metro City_," a voice said from the television. "_This is Lizzie Lyons_."

Megamind turned back, seeing the intern from yesterday onscreen once again.

"They must be joking to let _her_ back on the air."

Nonetheless, he listened. "_I'm here in front of City Hall, with the superhero_," she squeaked, "_Metro Man_!"

The camera panned over to reveal the hero floating beside her. Meanwhile, the intern was trying to compose herself.

"_So Metro Man_," she continued. "_You said you had a big announcement to make?"_

She held the mic up to him. "_Well, Lizzie, if I can call you that_…"

The blond giggled. "_Call me whatever you want_."

Megamind could have sworn he heard a sigh from behind the camera.

"_Well, Lizzie, I have an announcement to make about me and Roxanne Ritchi_." He looked right into the lens, his face more serious now. "_Roxie and I…have broken up_."

Lizzie gasped in surprise, but it was clearly faked. "_That's terrible! Metro City's Dream Team is no more? How did it happen?"_

"_Well, you heard how she had quit her job yesterday. She said she needed a 'fresh start' and all that. So yeah, we decided to end it_."

"_Oh, I'm so sorry_." She batted her eyes. "_Is there a chance you'll be dating someone else anytime soon?"_

"_Hmm, not sure. I think I might be taking a break for a while, at least until I find the right girl_."

Megamind's interest sparked once he saw her disappointment. "_Oh. Well, I'm sure you'll find that special someone soon. There are certainly a lot of fan girls who will be excited for this_." She winced as soon as she had said it. "_I mean, there are plenty of fish in the sea_." That one had sounded bad to her too.

_Hmm,_ the villain thought. _Miss Ritchi was never that nervous._

"She's gotten better," Minion remarked.

"Yes," Megamind agreed, still focusing his attention on the intern. "A bit off, but she's indeed improved."

"_If you can think of one_," Metro Man said to the young woman with a wink, "_give me a call_."

"Did you see that?!" the villain cried. "He winked at her!"

The blond looked like she was going to faint. "_Sure, I'll…give you a call_."

_Imagine what she'd look like tied up._ With that thought, Megamind jumped out of his seat.

"That's it!" he exclaimed.

"What's it?" Minion asked, confused.

"We've found her! We've found our new captive!"

"Really? Who, sir?"

He pointed at the screen. "Her!"

Minion's eyes widened. "Her?"

"Her! She's perfect!"

"The intern? But sir, don't you think she's a little…?" he tried to find the words. "I don't know…young…unfocused…uneasy?"

"Precisely! It's because she's so uneasy that she will be _so_ easy!"

"I'm not following you, sir."

"Notice her nervousness, Minion. She will be so easy to frighten, and you know what happens when people are frightened! They scream, which is something Miss Ritchi has always failed to do! We could finally have a proper kidnapping victim! Take that, Roxanne!"

"Sir, I'm not sure…"

"Find out everything you can about this Lizzie Lyons, and then go pick her up."

"What? Now?"

"Yes, now!"

"But you don't have an evil plan prepared."

"We'll just use Evil Back-Up Plan #2364."

Minion went over the plans in his head, trying to recall to which one his boss was referring. Then he cringed.

"Oh no! Sir, I thought we agreed…"

"No excuses, Minion! You have a job to do and I have to set everything up. Go!"

As Minion left, Megamind watched as the intern closed her report.

"_This is Lizzie Lyons, reporting live with Metro Man_."

"Not for long, Miss Lyons," Megamind said before bursting into evil laughter.

* * *

**Not sure how many of you saw this coming.**

**BTW, ice cream headaches are EXCRUCIATING! Never had a hangover, but I'm sure the results are similar (please don't debate, I don't wanna know).**


	4. The New Victim

**On vacation, but still have homework, so future updates might be delayed.**

* * *

Lizzie let out a sigh of relief as Hal cut the camera. "How did I do?"

"Not bad for an intern," Hal said with a smile.

Metro Man shrugged. "It was certainly better than last time."

The young woman gazed up at him excitedly. "Thank you."

"Well, I best be flying. It was nice to meet you, Lizzie. Oh, if you see Roxanne, tell her I said hi."

"Sure, I'll…"

But he flew off without letting her finish.

"Okay!" she shouted. "I guess I'll call you!" She sighed. "Isn't he amazing?"

Hal rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure. You, however, were even more amazing."

"You really think so?"

"Sure. I guess Roxie's trick worked."

"Yeah, it sure did."

"So who were you thinking about?"

Her cheeks turned pink. "Um, I was…"

She was literally saved by the bell when her phone rang. It was her boss.

"Not a bad job, Miss Lyons," he complimented. "Looks like there's hope for you, after all."

"Does that mean I still have the internship?" she asked hopefully.

"I suppose it does."

"Oh, Mr. Stubbs, I can't tell you…"

"Then don't. Why don't you and Mr. Stewart take a lunch break? Oh, and please tell him not to make noise behind the camera. Keep up the good work!"

Once she had hung up, Lizzie let out a squeal. "I get to keep my job!"

"This calls for a celebration!" Hal exclaimed. "How about lunch? Still like pizza?"

"Sounds great! Mr. Stubbs said we could take a break, anyway."

"You know what this means, right?" Hal asked as he packed up the camera. "Now that you're getting over your camera-shyness, I mean. You could be an actual reporter."

Lizzie stared longingly at the camera. "Hey, Hal, how does that thing work, anyway?"

"What this? It's quite simple really."

He started explaining while Lizzie listened intently. That is, she was until she smelt something strange in the air and passed out.

"And when we get on air, the footage goes to…" Hal then noticed that Lizzie wasn't standing there anymore. "Lizzie? Liza-roo?" He looked down as he stepped on the mic. Then he stamped his foot. "Ugh, come on! Why is it always _my_ reporter?"

* * *

Megamind was making sure his invention was carefully concealed by the black sheet. He chuckled with excitement. Minion then entered with the new captive draped over his shoulder.

"Excellent, Minion!" the villain exclaimed. "Go ahead, set her in the chair."

"Sir," the fish started to say, "I really don't think this plan…"

"If you're going to say it will fail, so what? This is a test run. Now, what did you find out about our latest victim?"

Minion sighed as he set the unconscious woman down. "Well, her full name is Elizabeth Taylor Lyons, she's twenty-year-old, she's a student at Metro City University, studying Journalism and Digital Media. She's now taking a summer internship at KMCP."

"She's a student at MCU? Funny. That's where Miss Ritchi was attending when we first kidnapped her."

"Yeah, apparently, Miss Ritchi was her mentor before she quit."

"She _is_ the best reporter around." He stared off into space for a second, but then refocused. "What about family?"

"She's an only child and her folks all live in Grand Rapids."

"Good, so we'll get no complaints from Mom or Dad. Remember when we got that call from Mrs. Ritchi? Boy, I'd hate to meet her in person!"

Minion cringed. "I remember. She threatened to turn me into fish sticks."

"I can see where Roxanne gets her temper. I wonder if that's where she also gets her sassiness."

"I also found out that Miss Lyons here is allergic to roses…and fish, thank goodness."

"Great! She'll be sneezing all over!"

"It's only when she," Minion gulped, "_eats_ fish, sir."

"Oh, well still, it's something we could use against her. Miss Ritchi was never allergic to anything, except…what was it? _Lee-lock?_"

"I think you mean _lilac_, sir."

"Yes, I remember when we had those evil plants and one of them was _lee-lock_, and the woman was sneezing up a storm! She was really mad at me afterwards…"

"Sir, Miss Lyons will be waking any second now. Shouldn't you be getting a Brainbot ready?"

"Huh? Oh! About that, Minion, I was thinking that since we have a new captive, we could change things up a bit."

The woman in the chair began to stir.

"This is it, Minion!" Megamind whispered, rushing into place. "Remove the bag and hide!"

Even with the sack off her head, Lizzie's vision was blurred. It took a while for her eyes to adjust. She tried to remember what had happened. She couldn't have fallen asleep while Hal was explaining how the camera worked. How could she? It had been interesting.

She tried to move, but something was preventing her. She then realized that both her wrists and ankles were tied. When her vision became clear, she saw that she was in an abandoned factory of some sort.

Lizzie tried to shout to whoever had brought her here, but it came out as a squeak. "W-what's going on here? W-what have you done with Hal? Where am I?"

She heard a low, dark laugh. She glanced around the room, but could not find the source.

"Wouldn't _you_ like to know, Miss Lyons?"

Lizzie struggled to find words. "Who…who are you? How do you know my name?"

The voice laughed again. "It doesn't matter how I know who _you_ are, but you know who _I_ am."

"I…I do?"

"I'm the most terrifying being on this planet. Perhaps in the universe! All men cower before me!"

Lizzie tried to be brave. _What would Roxanne do in this situation?_

"Um…oh! What about women?"

It came out weaker than she had hoped.

"Yes," the voice replied, "well, they cower before me too! But you, Miss Lyons, will find yourself petrified where you sit!"

She kept searching for her captor, but still could not find him. Suddenly, someone tapped her on the shoulder. She squealed and turned around to face the blue alien super villain, who was grinning deviously.

"You?" Lizzie said.

"Yes!" Megamind exclaimed, circling her. "It is I, the notorious, the terrible, the devilishly handsome, Megamind! And you, Miss Lyons, are now in my clutches!"

He waited for a scream that unfortunately, never came. Lizzie only stared at the villain in disbelief. Then she hung her head back and shouted at the ceiling.

"Oh my god, are you freaking _kidding me_?!"

Megamind stared down at her, increasingly confused. _This isn't going to be Miss Ritchi all over again, is it? _Minion emerged from his hiding place.

"First they give me Roxanne's job, now they give me her kidnapping chair? You're kidnapping _me_ right now?"

The blue alien folded his arms and glared at her. "Do you have a problem with that, Miss Lyons?"

Lizzie shrunk back. "Um, no, sir."

He tried to hide his relief. "Good. Now, I have a question to ask you, Miss Lyons. Do you find carnivorous fish frightening?"

She glanced at Minion. "If you mean that little guy over there, he's more cute than scary."

"I told you, sir!" Minion exclaimed.

"No, I wasn't talking about him!" Megamind grunted. "I was talking about…" He placed his hand on a lever on the wall and turned to Minion. "Music!"

"Music?" Lizzie asked in panic. "Oh no, please don't…"

The fish picked up a stereo and pressed a button. The theme from _Jaws_ echoed throughout the lair, but that's not what it sounded like to Lizzie. She wanted to cover her ears, but her hands were still tied.

Megamind cleared his throat. "I was talking about," he paused, and then pulled the lever, "these!"

Suddenly, the floor started rumbling. When Lizzie looked down, she saw three hammerhead sharks swimming beneath her feet. When one of them jumped up at her, she screamed and tightened up as close to the chair as possible.

"Did you hear that, Minion?" Megamind whispered excitedly. "This one's a screamer!"

"Are these actual _sharks_?" Lizzie shrieked. "Where do you find hammerheads in Metro City?"

"Sir, you know how sharks make me nervous," Minion muttered.

"I did warn you what was coming, Minion," Megamind said, turning back to his captive. "What do you have to say about carnivorous fish now, Miss Lyons?"

"Are you crazy or something?' the blond exclaimed. "You're gonna actually _feed_ me to these things?!"

"Strange, that's exactly what Miss Ritchi said when… Yes, you're going to be shark bait!"

"B-but…hey, sharks don't even like the taste of humans!"

Megamind laughed. "True as that may be, they'd eat anything they see swimming in the water. Besides, they haven't been fed in days."

"That doesn't make me feel any better, sir," Minion said, taking a step back.

"Quiet, Minion! Can't you see I'm having a conversation here?"

He looked at his captive. After a while, Lizzie realized he was waiting for her to speak. Or scream. She wasn't sure.

"Well?" the villain said expectantly.

"Well, what?"

"Don't you have anything to say?"

Lizzie pondered for a moment. _Come on, Lizzie. Think like Roxanne._

"Um, don't you think the sharks won't be…happy? I mean, if I don't taste very good, wouldn't they get mad and…and…bite your head off?"

She mentally kicked herself. _Could I sound any more pathetic?_ The fact was it was hard to think while surrounded by sharks and having sharp music pierce her ears.

"Hey, mind turning that off?"

"What?" Megamind asked.

"The music? It's rather annoying."

He glanced at the stereo, then at her. He grinned mischievously. "Does it bother you?"

"Yes!"

"My apologies, Miss Lyons, but I was unaware. Minion, turn it up, will you?"

The fish obeyed, and Lizzie just screamed in annoyance.

"In answer to your question on whether you'll taste good or not," the villain sneered, "I'm afraid the sharks won't suffer from that inconvenience."

"What did you say?" Lizzie shouted. She could not hear him over the music.

"I said…" Megamind winced as the song reached its climax. "Minion, turn it off! I can't hear myself talk!"

"What was that?" Minion yelled.

"Turn it off!"

"What?"

"TURN IT OFF!"

"Okay, no need to shout!"

Once the stereo was silent, Lizzie sighed in relief. "Thank you!"

"As I was saying," Megamind continued, "the sharks won't find you unappetizing at all."

The woman's earlier nausea returned. "W-what do you mean?"

The alien hastened over to the large object hidden under a black sheet. "Behold!" With a tug, he revealed a weapon that appeared to be made of fish flake cans. "The Fish Food Ray!"

Lizzie raised an eyebrow, losing her fear for a moment. "The _Fish Food_ Ray?"

"Sir, I'm still uncomfortable…" Minion started to say.

"Hush up, Minion!" Megamind ordered. "Allow me to demonstrate, Miss Lyons."

He pointed the ray at a group of Brainbots, who all scattered at the sight of it. Lizzie thought he was going to shoot one of them, but instead, he shot a cardboard box in front of which they had been standing. It instantly dissolved into fish flakes. When Lizzie saw Megamind aim the ray at her, she squeaked.

"Hey, hey! Why me? I'm no reporter! I'm just an intern! You want a real reporter? Kidnap Stacy Stevens or Pamela Peters! But really, I'm not worth the trouble. I'm a _terrible_ reporter! Didn't you see me yesterday? Awful, simply awful! Plus, I, uh, disgraced your genius! Is that why you kidnapped me? Look, it was my first time. I'll do better. Is it really worth feeding me to the sharks? Do you really think…?"

"Silence!" Megamind commanded.

"Yes, sir."

It was not so much Megamind that scared her. She had battled several aliens and super villains in video games, and even those guys had been scarier than him. It was what he could do to her that frightened her. The sharks circling below were not helping.

"I'll have you know I've overlooked your lousy report on my brilliant escape. Whether you're a professional or not, you're still the perfect bait to lure Metro Man to his doom! Once he gets here, I will turn him into fish food!"

Lizzie shivered, but then brightened up at the thought of Metro Man.

"Wait. Are you saying that Metro Man will come and rescue me?"

"Yes, if he can get past my ray."

"But if he does, he'll carry me off in his arms?"

"Yes."

"And fly me off into the sunset?"

"Yes."

"After taking you to jail?"

"Yes."

"And there's a chance that he'll ask me on a date? Even make me his official girlfriend? Thus I'll be dating the most perfect guy on the planet?"

"Yes! Now please keep quiet while I set up the camera! Time to call Metro Man."

He gestured for Minion to bring out the camera. Lizzie froze at the sight of it.

"You mean…" she stammered. "Y-you're filming this…live?"

"Of course," Megamind replied. "What better way to get into Metro Man's face than to show the terror on an innocent citizen's face?"

Hal wasn't here this time, so her fear was back.

"Um, here's the thing. I don't do so well in front of cameras. That's why I was terrible yesterday. You know, if my friend Hal were here, I would be less nervous, but he isn't, so this wouldn't exactly work out, so if you could put the camera away…"

The villain grunted in annoyance. "Oh, shut up, would you? Or I'll turn you into fish flakes right now!"

Lizzie shrieked. "Okay, okay. Let's not be too hasty. I'll be good, okay?"

_Gosh, I'm a wimp._

* * *

Meanwhile, Roxanne was at her apartment, serving tea to her sister, who had driven up from Lansing that morning.

"So glad you could come," she said, handing her a cup.

"My boss was thinking of giving me a vacation anyway," Rachel shrugged. "I had to come after you told me last night you were moving. Are you really gonna do it?"

"I…I don't know."

The younger sibling switched the television on. "Is that intern still doing your reports?"

"I think so. I didn't watch any news this morning."

"Hey, since you're moving, who's Blue Boy gonna kidnap now?"

"Probably some wimpy girl who's terrified of her own shadow. I don't care, but I feel sorry for the next poor soul whose life he decides to mess up."

Suddenly, she heard a familiar evil laugh. "_Attention, people of Metrocity_!"

The Ritchi sisters looked at the television to see the super villain's face.

"Speak of the Devil," Roxanne muttered.

Rachel sat up. "Ooh, goodie! My favorite show's on!"

"_This is a message for Metro Man as well_," Megamind added. "_You may well be aware that Miss Ritchi is no longer suitable for kidnapping._"

"No longer suitable?!" Roxanne cried.

"Ouch," her sister muttered.

"Well, no matter. At least he's not bothering me anymore."

"_However,_" the villain continued, "_that does not mean I am no longer suitable for evil! Metro Man, this is your last warning to leave the city! If you don't, this little intern here will be swimming with the fishes…literally!_"

When the camera panned over to the woman sitting in the chair above a pit of sharks, Roxanne dropped her teacup. Though the intern was trying to hide her face, her identity was unmistakable.

"Lizzie?" she gasped. "He's kidnapped _Lizzie_?!"

The _Jaws_ theme blared from the television, for added drama, she suspected, and the blond cried out in annoyance.

"_Someone, get me out of here!_" she screamed, still avoiding eye contact with the camera.

Rachel nodded. "I can see why Megamind picked her. You _never_ scream for help."

Roxanne said nothing, only continued to stare at the screen in disbelief.

"_Yes!_" Megamind exclaimed. "_I have captured Lizzie Lyons! And she will be fish food if you don't leave the city within the hour!_"

Minion leaned into the frame. "_Sir, can we please get this over with? The sharks look very hungry!_"

Rachel smiled. "That fish is too adorable to be an evil henchman."

The villain onscreen rolled his eyes. "_That's the point, Minion! For the last time, they're not going to eat you!_" He waved him off and turned back to the camera. "_Again, one hour!_"

The television went static, but Roxanne was still staring. Rachel waved a hand in front of her face.

"Roxie? You okay, Roxie?"

The older sibling blinked. "Huh? Oh, yeah. It's just…I didn't think he was actually going to do it."

"Do what?"

"Kidnap someone else."

"Well, that's good, right? It means you're off the hook!"

"Yeah," she muttered. "Off the hook."

* * *

Hal had been watching the entire scene through the window of the television store. _That jerk_, he thought. _The nerve of him threatening to feed her to sharks and playing music! Doesn't he know she's tone deaf? _Lizzie certainly had looked irritated onscreen, as well as terrified. _He put her on camera, nonetheless!_

He then realized that he had never felt this concerned when Roxanne was kidnapped.

* * *

**Elizabeth Taylor. Yep, I went there.**

**To be continued...MWAHAHAHA!**


	5. Successes and Defeats

**It's 2013! We've survived the apocalypse! Now to see if Lizzie can survive Megamind (or if Megamind can survive Lizzie (or if Minion can survive the sharks)).**

* * *

Part of Lizzie's terror faded once the camera was off, but the music was still playing.

"Can we get rid of the sharks now?" Minion begged.

Megamind groaned. "No! Not until we've zapped Metro Man into a million flakes!" He turned to Lizzie. "Pray all you want, Miss Lyons, but no one can save you now!"

When she didn't respond, Megamind spoke louder. "I said: no one can save you now!"

"Hmm?" his captive said. "No, I heard you. Just…why is that music still on?"

"Why do you even care? Is it…frightening?"

"No, it's just really bad!"

"What? What do you have against _Jaws_?"

"Nothing! It just sounds really bad! Please, can you turn it off? You see, I'm tone…"

She was interrupted as Metro Man crashed through the roof. As soon as she saw the hero, however, she didn't mind. Megamind hastened over to the Fish Food Ray.

"Ah, Metro Man!" he smirked, aiming the weapon at his enemy. "You're just in time for lunch!"

"What's on the menu?" Metro Man replied. "Cuz I got a knuckle sandwich with your name on it!"

"No thanks, I'm not hungry! But I believe the sharks are!"

He fired at the hero, but he dodged the beam, turning a rusted water pipe into fish flakes. Megamind cursed under his breath and fired several times, but Metro Man was too quick for him. Lizzie had to duck as one shot almost hit her.

"Help!" she cried.

"Hang on, Lizzie!" Metro Man called, avoiding another shot. "I'll be there in a second! Hey, are those the hammerheads that were stolen from the aquarium last week?"

"Oh, excellent deduction, Metro Man!" Megamind said sarcastically. "After all, there are _multiple_ places I could have gotten these sharks! Your little intern here wasn't able to figure it out!"

"Hey!" Lizzie exclaimed, insulted. "It's hard to think when you have crummy music blaring in your ears and sharks circling around…"

"Stay out of this!" the villain commanded.

"Okay."

The alien paused to look at her. Roxanne had never backed down so easily, so Lizzie's action had come as a surprise. In his distraction, Metro Man decided to destroy the Fish Food Ray in a single punch. Once Megamind had come back to reality, he took his chance to slip away to the invisible car. Minion was already inside, knowing that his boss would be there eventually.

"Well don't just sit there!" he ordered. "Drive!"

Metro Man heard the car speed away too late. Lizzie heard it too.

"They're getting away!" she cried.

"Drat," he muttered, flying down to untie her. "I'll get him next time. Right now, Miss Lyons, we need to get you home. Then we have to notify the aquarium about their sharks."

Lizzie's eyes sparkled at the idea that he was taking her home. Suddenly, the annoying music and terrifying sharks didn't matter anymore.

Once she was free, Metro Man lifted her in his arms and took off. The young woman could not stop gazing into his baby blue eyes. _He's so handsome._ _And he just _rescued _me! _Maybe getting kidnapped had its perks.

* * *

"Hey Lizzie," Metro Man said. "Where _do_ you live?"

"Huh? Oh. Just drop me off at the office. Unless you want to grab a bite to…"

"Okay, the office it is."

"Why is it always me?" Hal asked his boss. "Why does Megamind always kidnap _my_ reporters?"

"I don't know," Mr. Stubbs replied in annoyance. "Why don't you ask Megamind and leave me alone?"

"But he's got Lizzie and she's not even an official reporter!"

"Don't worry. Metro Man will save her."

"Sure, but…" Then realization hit him. "Oh no! Does that mean Lizzie's gonna be Metro Man's new…?"

He stopped when said blond walked into the office, a dreamy look on her face.

"Lizzie!" He raced over to her. "Are you okay? Were you hurt? How are your ears?"

"Perfect," the woman sighed.

"What?"

"How was your first abduction, Miss Lyons?" Mr. Stubbs inquired half-jokingly.

"Oh, it was wonderful."

"Okay," Hal said. "There is seriously something wrong with you. I was watching you on TV and you looked like really terrified."

"Oh, it was scary at first, with the sharks and the music, but when Metro Man came…"

Last time Hal had seen her like this, she was ten and crushing on a boy in her class. He knew that could only mean one thing.

"Metro Man asked you out!"

She shook her head. "No. Not yet, anyway. If I keep getting kidnapped, he's sure to ask me eventually."

Hal felt a sudden tug in his chest. "Ow!"

Lizzie snapped out of her trance. "Oh god, are you okay?"

"I think I've got heartburn or something. You should like call an ambulance."

* * *

"Well, so much for that hideout," Minion said as he drove the invisible car. "At least that wasn't our permanent lair. We should probably go back to get our stuff."

"Did you see that?" his boss asked.

"See what?"

"Miss Lyons! Every time I told her to be quiet, she went quiet! She even screamed! Oh ho, she was so frightened! It felt like the old days when everyone ran in fear from us! I don't understand her reaction to the music, but other than that, I think this kidnapping was a success!"

"What do you mean a success? Metro Man defeated you again."

"Don't you see Minion? This had nothing to do with defeating Metro Man!"

Minion slammed his metal foot on the brakes. "You mean you _knew_ this plan would fail?"

"Please, Minion. The chance of defeating Metro Man by turning him into fish food is one in a googolplex."

"So you brought out those sharks for _nothing_?!"

"Anyway, this was to see whether or not Miss Lyons was a suitable captive or not, and I think the results are positive."

"So we're kidnapping _her_ now?"

"Of course! She's perfect! You have a problem with that?"

"No, just…what about Miss Ritchi?"

Megamind paused. "What about her, Minion?"

"I just thought…well, today you kept bringing her up every five minutes or so. Are you sure you're ready? You know, to kidnap someone else?"

"Well…I…it was _your_ idea in the first place."

"Yeah, but…" The fish sighed in defeat. "Alright, Miss Lyons it is, but please promise me one thing, sir."

"What?"

"Let's never use sharks again."

* * *

**I know, short. Don't worry. There's more to come!**


	6. Jealousy

**Not really much to say for this chapter, just that Hal might seem a bit OOC. But then again, this is all WAY before he became Tighten/Titan.**

* * *

Two weeks went by and Megamind had kidnapped Lizzie three times. All of those times, Metro Man had rescued her. Two of those times, Megamind had been hauled off to prison.

Lizzie's popularity had dramatically increased and people were already labeling her as Metro Man's new girlfriend. This was not true, but Lizzie was determined to make it so. Despite all the danger she'd been in, she always looked forward to the rescue and returned to work with a lovesick smile on her face, much to Hal's discomfort.

As much as he tried to conceal it, he didn't like Lizzie being the new star reporter. Wherever they went for lunch, people would recognize her and ask for an autograph. The rest of the time, she'd be going on and on about Metro Man. Sometimes, he didn't think she even realized he was there. When she did, she would be asking for a latte or for him to roll the camera. It was more like he was the intern instead of her.

The sudden change in her was astonishing, especially when she showed up at the office one morning. Instead of her usual work clothes: light pants and a button-up blouse; she wore a sky blue dress with a low neckline and pencil skirt. Hal's eyes bulged out of their sockets.

"What are you wearing?"

Lizzie looked down at herself. "Oh, this? Well, I thought that since I'm now a reporter, and it's possible I'll be dating an older man, I should have a more mature look. You like it?"

"It's nice, but…"

"But what? You think I should wear something with sleeves?"

"It's not that. It's just…you don't look like yourself."

"I know! Isn't it great? No one will think of me as a dumb little intern anymore! By the way, did you get my latte?"

Hal sighed. "It's on your desk."

"Great! What would I do without you, Hal?"

"You know? You're sounding a lot like…"

"Like who?"

"Like…Roxanne."

"Really? Thank you!"

She walked over to her desk, but tripped on the way.

"Are those high heels?" Hal asked.

"Yeah," Lizzie replied, struggling to get up. "They go great with the dress. See?"

She held one foot up to show the six-inch heel, causing her to fall again. This time, Hal helped her up.

"Maybe you should go back to sneakers," he suggested.

"No way! I can handle these!"

She continued her way, using the desks for support. Hal watched her go, not liking what he was seeing. Sure, the dress showed off her figure, but the woman wearing it just wasn't the Lizzie Lyons he used to know.

* * *

Meanwhile, Roxanne had been preparing for the move into her sister's place. She had gotten a job offer from a station in Lansing, so it only seemed plausible that the two siblings live together. Rachel was good enough to help with the packing. This helped make progress, but she made the mistake of turning the television on while Lizzie Lyons was reporting Megamind's latest escape. Roxanne's eyes widened once she saw what the intern was wearing.

"Okay," she grunted. "She's just trying _way_ too hard."

"That's the kind of stuff _you_ wear," Rachel pointed out.

"Exactly! First she takes over my job and now she's copying my look? Who does she think she is?!"

"Roxie, don't you think…?"

"Why would Megamind kidnap _her_? I mean she's obviously not very good, she freaks out about everything and I would look _so_ much better in that dress!"

"Roxie! Do you hear yourself?"

The older sibling sighed. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"You know what I think? I think you're jealous."

Her mouth dropped open. Then she coughed out a laugh which was obviously forced.

"Jealous? Me? Of…of _Lizzie_?! Why would you think that?"

Rachel shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe it's the fact she's taken your job and popularity, or that you're yesterday's news and she's todays, or maybe it's the fact that your future husband's taken interest in her."

"If you mean Metro Man…"

"Heck no! I've always known your relationship was a fake! I'm talking about Blue Boy!"

That shocked Roxanne even more that she could hardly find words. "You…you mean…he…I…Megamind?"

"Bingo!"

"That's…that's…that's ridiculous! Do you know how ridiculous you're sounding?"

"All I know is that since day one, Megamind's had a thing for you, and I think you feel the same way about him."

"How would you know? You've never even met him!"

"But I've watched the two of you onscreen. Whenever he looks at you, I swear, his humongous eyes get even bigger. Don't tell me you haven't seen it!"

"Okay, so maybe he does have a thing for me, but what makes you think I feel the same?"

"Well, for one thing, he's all you ever talk about."

"Is not!"

"Is so!

"Is _not_!"

"Is _so_!"

"Ugh! You sound just like Megamind!"

"Aha! See?"

"So I just thought of him. So what? We were already on the subject! It doesn't prove you're right!"

"Then why are you blushing?"

"Huh?"

Roxanne then hastened to the bathroom mirror and realized that her cheeks had turned a deep red. Her sister leaned against the door frame and smirked.

"I_ don't_ like him!" Roxanne insisted. "Why would I if he kidnaps me all the time?"

"You once told me that those abductions were the most exciting part of your day. Admit it, you like getting kidnapped."

"I do _not_! Need I remind you that I _quit_?You think I liked spending all that time tied to a chair, dangling over an alligator pit, listening to Megamind rant about his evil plan which is so stupid, it's sure to fail! I can't stand him! He's arrogant, selfish, idiotic…"

"And you love him."

"No!"

"Then explain to me why you're so upset about the fact that he's kidnapping someone else now."

"I just…I…she…she's not good enough for him!"

Rachel stared at her. Then Roxanne went over what she had just said. With a gasp, she set herself on the toilet.

"Oh my god, I _am_ jealous!"

"Yes!" her sister cried. "Another point for Rachel!"

"But I'm not in love with Megamind!" Roxanne added quickly.

"Alright, whatever floats your boat."

The older sibling leaned her head against her hands. "Ugh, I feel so frustrated!"

"I have a solution to that."

* * *

Later that afternoon, Lizzie found herself tied up again. Her first thought: _Goodie! Now Metro Man can see my new look!_ Once she noticed that she was tied to a log on a conveyer belt, however, her next thought was: _Uh oh._

She wrenched her head backwards, trying to see what was behind her, but found it very difficult.

"Comfortable?" Megamind asked, looming over her.

"Sure," Lizzie squeaked. "Why wouldn't I be comfortable? I mean so what if I trip over these shoes every five seconds? So what if I can hardly sit down in this dress without…?"

The villain slapped his forehead. "Not what I'm talking about!"

"Oh, you mean the log! Well, I might get splinters, but it's…very comfy. By the way, do _you_ like my new look?"

"Why would I care what you're wearing?"

He had in fact noticed while she had been unconscious. Until he had seen the long blond hair, he had thought it was Roxanne. _She would have looked _much_ better in that dress._ He had no idea where that had come from.

"Sorry, it's just that my boss thought I looked uncomfortable, Hal said I wasn't working it, my mom called and said I wasn't old enough to wear this, and my dad…"

"Are you finished?"

"Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. But if you don't mind me asking, is there a…?"

He already knew what she was going to ask. "Oh ho, there is indeed."

Moving over to a control panel, he pressed a button and Lizzie heard a blade spinning behind her.

"Are you freaking _serious_?!" she screamed. "You're not really gonna cut me in half, are you?"

Megamind cackled. "It depends whether your boyfriend gets here in time or not."

Lizzie lit up. "You mean you actually think he'll be my boyfriend?"

He ignored her question as he pushed another button. The conveyer belt lurched backward, slowly making its way toward the blade. Lizzie let out another high-pitched scream. It was really starting to get on Megamind's nerves.

He wasn't really going to cut her in half. The blade was plastic, just in case the hero failed to show or was late. But the more his captive squealed, the more tempted he was to use a real blade.

He signaled for Minion to start the camera.

"Metro Man!" he called out. "You have mere seconds, before your new girlfriend is split in…" Lizzie's scream interrupted him. "…two. If you want to stop the blade from…" She screamed again. "From…"

"Get me out of here!"

Megamind threw up his arms. "Oh, just get over here, would you?"

Once the camera was off, Lizzie shrieked, "Hey, can we work something out? See, I just _can't_ be cut in half today. I, uh, have a dinner appointment. In fact, I'm allergic to really sharp blades! Yeah! I get _terrible_ blood poisoning! And I recently got a haircut, so I don't need another…"

The villain couldn't take it anymore. He stopped the conveyer belt so he could shout:

"Oh, for the love of all things evil, would you SHUT UP?! Your voice is so annoying!"

Minion and Lizzie stared at him in shock.

"Oh, and by the way? That dress looks _awful_ on you!"

The girl said nothing for a long time. Then she sniffed as her eyes got watery. Megamind was surprised.

"Are you…are you _crying_?"

"N-no," Lizzie stammered, facing away from him.

The villain turned to his friend. "Is she _crying_? Tell me she's not crying!"

"I think she's crying, sir," Minion stated.

"Ugh! That's not what I wanted you to tell me!"

"That last comment was uncalled for, sir."

"What do you expect me to do? Miss Ritchi was never this annoying! Nor did she ever cry like a human infant!"

He winced as the captive's sobs grew louder.

"Minion, do something!"

"Like what?"

"I don't know! Give her a cookie or something!"

"I didn't make any cookies!"

"Seriously? The one time you don't…? Never mind! Do something, but make her stop crying!"

The fish cautiously approached the conveyer belt. The woman had mascara streaking down her face.

"Miss Lyons," he said softly. "Miss Lyons, calm down! Here, I'll turn off the blade."

He did so, but the sobs continued.

"Miss Lyons, it's okay! Do you want us to take you home and…?"

"I'm _not_ a crybaby!" she choked.

Minion turned back to his boss and shrugged. Megamind threw his arms up again.

"Ugh! I can't work with this!"

Angrily, he left the room. A few seconds later, Metro Man crashed through the roof and Lizzie stopped crying.

"Don't need two girlfriends, Megamind! One is e…"

He trailed off once he noticed that his enemy was absent.

"Hey? Where's Megamind?"

"Um," Minion stammered. "Something came up. He had to leave in a hurry.

Metro Man was confused. "Err, okay? I'll just take Lizzie home then?"

The fish had no objection as the hero untied the girl and carried her off.

"That was weird," Metro Man muttered during the flight.

"Uh huh," Lizzie said absentmindedly, staring into his eyes.

"I mean it's not like Megamind to give up so easily."

"Uh huh."

"You weren't hurt, were you?"

"Uh huh. Oh! I mean…not at all. But it was _so_ scary! To think he was gonna cut me in half!"

When he dropped her off at the KMCP building, he was about to leave immediately, but Lizzie stopped him.

"Hey, Metro Man?"

He sighed and turned to her. "Yes?"

She rubbed the back of her neck. "Listen, I was thinking…well, you've been saving me a lot lately. And I was wondering if you and I could…you know?"

She looked up hopefully at him. Metro Man blinked once he realized to what she was referring.

"Oh." He thought it over. "Look, Lizzie…you're a nice girl and all but…"

Her face fell. "But?"

"It's just that…I'm not looking for a relationship right now. You know, since Roxanne…"

She was not bursting into tears, but she was clearly disappointed. "Oh. That's okay. I completely understand."

"I'm really sorry."

"No, it's no biggie."

Before he flew off, he turned back to her. "Oh, and Lizzie?"

"Yes?"

"Just so you know, I think you should find someone closer to your age."

That one hit her like a bowling ball.

"See you around?" Metro Man said.

She nodded, but didn't say a word. Then he took off, leaving a broken Lizzie on the ground.

* * *

**Ouch. I don't do justice to Lizzie.**


	7. Blowing Off Steam

**Okay, this is my favorite chapter so far! You'll soon see why.**

* * *

Hal walked into the arcade, searching for his friend. He didn't see her at first, because he was expecting to find a woman wearing a slightly revealing blue dress and high heels. When he heard angry grunts coming from the Whack-a-Mole, he knew his search was over.

Lizzie was hammering moles like nails, even the ones that weren't popping up. Thankfully, she had changed into baggy shorts, sneakers and a Green Lantern t-shirt. Hal smiled. _Now_ there's_ the Lizzie I know._

"I thought I'd find you here."

She took a second to acknowledge him, before thwacking another plastic rodent.

"It was either here or the ice cream parlor," Hal added.

She still said nothing, only grunted as she brought the mallet down again.

"Wow, you're gonna leave a dent in that thing. How long have you been at this?"

This time, she responded. "An hour."

His eyes widened. "Dang. Penny for your thoughts?"

There was a ring as the time on her game ran out. "How about a quarter? I'm all out."

He gladly handed her one and she inserted it into the machine.

"I've been having the worst day ever!" she exclaimed. _Whack!_

"What happened?"

"That stupid…" _Whack!_ "Big-headed…" _Whack!_ "Mean…" _Whack!_ "Jerk of a…" _Whack!_ "Superhero!" _Whack!_

Hal was afraid of her now. "Okay, I'm guessing this has to do with Metro Man."

"You think?" _Whack!_

When time ran out, she took a breath. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

"When you didn't come back to work," he explained, "I figured something was up so I came looking for you."

Lizzie was speechless. "You were worried about me?"

"Of course! After all, you were screaming like crazy on TV."

She looked down at her feet. "I'm a scaredy cat, aren't I?"

Hal nodded. "Yep."

"Gee, thanks."

"Want to explain to me what happened?"

"I asked Metro Man out."

His eyes widened. "By the looks of it, I'm guessing it went well."

She sighed and set the mallet down. "He said I was too young for him."

"Ouch. That's harsh."

"I know, right?"

"Well, I've got a whole roll of quarters here. How about we take this out on the air hockey field instead of on poor innocent moles?"

"That's nice of… Wait a second. You're not talking 'secret-sharing' air hockey, are you?"

It was something he used to pull on her to make her confess her problems when she was little.

"What other way to squeeze it out of you?" Hal smirked.

Lizzie held her head back and groaned. "Fine."

"You remember the rules?" he asked as he inserted a quarter into the game. "If I score in your goal, you tell me a secret. If _you_ score on _me_, I tell _you_ a secret."

She sighed as she prepared her mallet and took the puck out of her slot. "New rule: loser buys dinner."

Hal shrugged. "Fair enough. Let the games begin!"

They pushed the puck back and forth. With a half-furious swipe, Lizzie scored the first goal.

"Spill," she stated.

"Um," Hal uttered, pondering. "I snore when I sleep?"

"Come on, what kind of secret is that?"

"Hey, at least it's a secret!"

He tossed the puck back in play. She scored on him again.

"You've gotten better," he observed.

"Now make this a good one," she demanded, getting impatient.

He took a deep breath. "I have a crush on Roxanne."

Lizzie rolled her eyes. "Get real, Hal! _That's_ no secret! Everyone at work already knows that!"

He scoffed. "Well, did you know I keep a poster of her in my room with a speech bubble that says 'Good Night Hal' taped to it?"

She paused to stare at him. "That's creepy, Hal."

"Yeah, you're probably right," he said with a shrug.

The cameraman made an attempt to get the puck in her goal, but she scored again.

"Oh, come on!" He thought for a second, but then winced. "No, can't say that."

"Say what?" Lizzie inquired. "Come on, Hal. Let it out!"

He mentally kicked himself as she used his old words against him. He spoke quickly.

"Sometimes, I wet my bed, so I wear an adult-sized diaper at night."

Lizzie burst out laughing.

"It's not funny!"

"I'm sorry!" she exclaimed, wiping away a tear.

Hal took advantage of her distraction and shot the puck directly into her goal. Lizzie looked down, appalled.

"Hey, no fair!"

"Rules are rules!" Hal taunted. "I scored! Go on, Liz, spill!"

She heaved a sigh of defeat. "Alright. You want to know a secret? I hate getting kidnapped by Megamind."

He stamped his foot. "I _knew_ it!"

She explained further as they continued their game. "The guy's scary! Not because he's an alien, but he tried to feed me to sharks, he threatened me with a flamethrower, he tried to cut me in half today and his taste in music is awful!"

"You do realize that just because you're tone deaf, doesn't mean all music is bad, right? You seem okay whenever we're playing video games."

"Video game music is different. I'm used to it. But I'm sure Megamind's music would sound bad whether I had regular hearing or not!"

The score was now three to two. Lizzie didn't wait for convincing.

"Megamind also made me cry today."

Hal's jaw dropped. "What? What did he…" he paused to block her shot, "do?"

"He said my voice was annoying and that I was a crybaby!"

"You _can_ get pretty whiny."

"Hey!"

With that exclamation, Hal was able to score another goal.

"No offense, but I can imagine what Megamind has to go through. After all, I'm the one who's had to babysit you for seven years!"

She simply shook her head at him as she set the puck back on the air field.

"Uh-uh!" Hal called. "You haven't said your secret yet!"

Lizzie sighed. "I don't think I want to be a reporter anymore."

That surprised him. "What? I don't get it. You're even getting over your fear of cameras!"

"I don't know. I just don't think I'm cut out for it. Besides, I've been considering another career option."

"What's that?"

"I'll tell you on your next goal."

But she was the one to score the next one.

"Alright, as much as I like ya, Liz, I _hate_ getting lattes for you every morning! I feel like a slave!"

She giggled. "I'll never ask you again."

Hal got the next goal.

"Okay, to be honest, I want to try operating the camera."

Her friend was touched. "Really?"

"Yeah, so I was hoping you could show me how to do it sometime."

"Well, sure, but if you're gonna roll the camera, who's gonna give the report?"

"Oops, hadn't thought about that."

"I'll talk it over with Mr. Stubbs."

Hal scored again. Lizzie hesitated as she thought of her next secret. But now that the tension between them had diminished, she felt she could tell Hal anything.

"You wanna know why I'm camera-shy?"

He paused. "Come to think of it, I never really understood the reason."

"Well, you remember Patricia Martin's party?"

He freaked out. "Which part?"

"The part where I fell in the cake."

He relaxed. "Oh, that."

"Well, someone had taped a video of it and a few days later…I found it on the internet."

The cameraman grew silent. "Oh."

"I guess ever since then, I've been worried of embarrassing myself again."

"I wasn't exactly helpful during your first report, was I?"

"No, you weren't."

They remained quiet until Lizzie scored.

"Okay, if you think _you're_ a crybaby, I cry during Audrey Hepburn films!"

Lizzie choked back her laughter. "Really? You watch _Audrey Hepburn_?"

"Hey, at least I didn't smear cake on my face!"

She couldn't hold it anymore. Soon, Hal was laughing with her as well, but she had stopped before him. This gave her the opportunity to shoot the puck.

"Hey!" he cried.

"Rules are rules!"

"Fine. Just give me a moment." He pondered, and then started to snicker. "You know something funny? Okay, when we were kids, I like had this crazy impression that you like had a crush on me or something! Is that like ridiculous or what?"

Lizzie let out a nervous laugh. "Yeah, totally." She glanced at the scoreboard. "Hey, I'm leading you six to five! One more goal and I win!"

"Not unless we tie and we have to play to eight!"

She hoped that wasn't the case, for fear that she may have to blurt out a secret she'd been hiding for a very long time. Nonetheless, she put her game face on. Hal returned the look.

"You're going down, Halbert Jordan Stewart!"

"Not if I can help it, Elizabeth Taylor Lyons! I'm not gonna let you win like I did when you were six!"

And so they commenced their final battle for secrets. Both so were eager to squeeze one out of the other that they thwacked the puck with enough force to knock Metro Man out of the sky. In the end however, Hal was too slow to stop the disc from slipping into his goal. Lizzie shot her arms up and cheered.

"Yes! The Liz-Meister is victorious once again!"

Hal looked up at her in awe. "You actually beat me. _Again_! What next? You gonna beat me at _Street Fighter_?"

"Spill, Stewart! Give your biggest secret yet!"

He sighed and confessed. "To add on to the last thing, I actually considered asking you out at one point."

Lizzie stopped jumping for joy. "Huh?"

"It was a _long_ time ago, the day you beat my high score at _Pac-Man_."

She said nothing for a while. "I was twelve."

"Thirteen, actually. But yeah, that's what made me change my mind."

She shook it off and returned to her victory dance. "It's time to pay up, Stewart! Come on, I'm starving!"

* * *

In order to get Roxanne's mind off things, Rachel suggested they go shopping, which, in her opinion, was the perfect way to relax. They started in the clothing store.

"You would look _so _great in this!" Rachel exclaimed, holding up a dark blue sleeveless dress with a ruffled collar. "I mean you _always_ look great in blue!"

Roxanne took one look at it and groaned. "Rachel!"

The younger sister did a double-take on the color. "Oh! Sorry! Here, they have the same one in purple. You've got to try it on!"

She complied with the demand and took the dress into the fitting room. When she looked in the mirror, she smiled a little.

"I have to admit," she called to Rachel, who was in the other stall, "this _does_ look good on me."

"I told you!" her sister chanted. "Do you doubt my fashion sense?"

"You really should've become a designer."

"Yeah, but I guess not all dreams come true."

She pulled back the curtains and joined Roxanne in front of the glass. She was wearing a light green tank dress with faux fur lining the skirt.

"Oh yeah, totally!" she observed. "Green is definitely my color!"

Roxanne nodded in agreement. "It sure does work for you. You know, that is the exact same shade as Minion."

Rachel watched as her sister's face fell.

"You know? We can get a red dress for you. It clashes with blue. Hey, weren't you wearing red when you were first…?" She stopped when she saw this wasn't helping. "Okay, I think we're done with dress shopping."

After purchasing the outfits, they tried The Body Shop.

"What I love about this place," Rachel thought aloud, "is that even if you don't buy anything, it's fun to smell the soaps."

"Can I help you?" the store clerk asked.

"Oh, we're just looking."

"I see you're particularly interested in our soaps. Perhaps you'd like to see our latest additions. Miss Ritchi, would you care to give us an opinion?"

Roxanne was confused. "Why would my opinion matter?"

"Well, they're designed for the city's resident super hero and villain. We call them Metro Soap and Mega Soap."

The older Ritchi's eyes widened as the lady showed them two bars of soap. One was white with Metro Man's symbol carved in it. The other was dark blue and had Megamind's logo.

"Well?" the clerk asked expectedly. "Give them a sniff."

"Um," Rachel stammered. "I don't think my sister's up for…"

Roxanne picked up the dark blue bar and gave it a sniff. "Blueberry?"

"Yes."

She set the bar down. "Smells nothing like him."

Rachel followed her sister as she stormed out of the shop.

"Maybe this was a bad idea," Roxanne said bluntly.

"So they had soap that smelt like your boyfriend! So what?"

"He's _not_ my boyfriend and it did _not_ smell like him!"

"Okay, how the heck do you know that?"

"He got pretty close one time. I just happened to notice." She stopped in her tracks in front of the Build-a-Bear Workshop. "Oh, come on! Are you kidding me?!"

"What now?"

Then Rachel looked through the window and saw two new bears on display. One was yellow, dressed like Metro Man, and the other was blue, dressed like Megamind. Roxanne grunted angrily and headed toward the food court.

"So they made a bear!" Rachel called. "So what? It's kind of cute!"

"Look, why don't we just grab something to eat and get out of here?"

"You're right. Fast food _always_ relieves stress."

She went over to the MacDonald's. "Two Big Macs with large fries and two large chocolate shakes."

"Would you like that Super-Hero-Sized?" the teenage cashier asked.

Rachel stared at him. "Come again?"

"It's a new thing we're trying out. You can have your burger Super-Hero-Sized or Super-Villain-Sized."

"What's the difference?"

"They're the same size, but Super-Villain-Sized is served with blue bread."

Rachel turned to her sister, only to find that she had left. She glared at the cashier.

"What the heck is wrong with you people?" she demanded before chasing after Roxanne, leaving the confused teenager at the counter.

* * *

Back at the arcade, Hal and Lizzie were laughing and joking as they shared a plate of cheese fries.

"So he actually tried to turn Metro Man into little fish flakes to sprinkle in his goldfish tank?" Hal giggled.

"When you put it that way," Lizzie said, "it sounds pretty ridiculous!"

"Where did he get _that_ idea? From a pet store?"

She chortled, but then grew solemn. "What's wrong with me, Hal?"

"Nothing! You're pretty, you're fun…Metro Man doesn't know what he's missing. What we really should be asking is what's wrong with _me_? I've been trying years to get a girl and so far, the only one who's kissed me is you."

"For the record," Lizzie said quickly, "the bottle pointed toward you and it was just one on the cheek."

"Still, it's as close to a real kiss as I've ever gotten. Explain to me, Lizzie. Why won't hot girls like Roxanne go out with me?"

"Hal, you think maybe the problem is that you try too hard?"

"Try too hard? Says the girl who got her Halloween costume early this year and went as Roxanne Ritchi!"

"Okay, fair enough. That outfit was uncomfortable anyway. I mean I've seen the way you act around Roxanne. You ask her out every single day with the weirdest pick-up line."

"Weird?"

"Well…" she deepened her voice, imitating him. "Hey, Roxanne! Why don't we go to the movies so we can see how not even Hollywood stars are as hot as you! I'll buy all the tickets so we can be like alone in the theater and stuff!"

Hal glared at her. "I do _not_ talk like that! Okay, maybe it _is_ weird, but what else is a guy like me supposed to do?"

"You could try being less of a creeper and more of a friend. That's how all relationships should start."

"What girl would wanna be friends with me?"

"Well, me, for instance. I think you're fun to hang out with."

He brightened up. "Really?"

"Yeah, you're like the big brother I never had."

Hal clutched his chest.

"You okay?" Lizzie asked.

"It's nothing, just heartburn again."

"You sure? Last time you said you had that, the doctor said there was nothing wrong."

"Then what's wrong with me?"

"Maybe you just ate too fast or something. Anyway, next time you wanna pick up a girl, just act the way you're acting with me right now, aside from the heartburn. Once she sees how cool you are, maybe she'll go out with you."

He relaxed as the pain started to fade. "Right. Thanks for the advice."

"Thank _you _for being here, considering how badly I've treated you. You always know how to make me feel better."

"You're welcome. You know, if you're still upset, I've got all these quarters in my pocket just itching to get out."

Lizzie glanced across the arcade. "There's a _Fix-It-Felix, Jr. _over there. Bet ya can't beat the bonus level!"

"Is that a challenge?"

She looked at him innocently. "Maybe."

"You're on!"

* * *

**Just to clear things up, Hal was named after both Green Lanterns: Hal Jordan and John Stewart, so that's why I have all the Green Lantern references. The Build-a-Bear thing is from another fanfic by nineteenninetytwo and I'm sorry, but it was a cute idea and it seemed appropriate to show up in that scene. And yeah, had to include the game from Wreck-It-Ralph.**


	8. Reflections

**Flying back home, so next update will be a little delayed! The song that inspired this chapter was suggested by Vast Difference (thanks for letting me do it). It actually works at this point!**

* * *

"Worst captive ever!" Megamind grunted as he took a bite out of a donut.

"Sir," Minion interjected, "that's your fourth donut! You're already starting to tremble!"

"I don't care! That intern ruined my evil plan! I don't know why I even kidnapped her in the first place! She's whiny, she's always screaming…"

"I thought that's what you wanted, sir."

"I thought so too, but she screams too much! It's very distracting! As if that weren't enough, she interrupts me and won't shut up!"

"Didn't Miss Ritchi do that, too?"

"Yes, but at least she had something intelligent to say! Every time I try to start a round of back-and-forth banter with Miss Lyons, she hardly comes up with a response! Minion, remind me why I kidnapped her."

"I think because you thought she was 'easy'."

He spun around in his chair. "That's precisely the problem! She's _too_ easy! It was much harder getting a scream out of Miss Ritchi, but at least there was more joy in the challenge! Hand me another donut!"

Minion pulled the box away. "You've had enough, sir!"

He spun faster. "I'm done kidnapping Miss Lyons! She's whiny! Did I mention that? She's not as clever, she's not as strong, and she's not even as attractive! And she's not as clever!"

"Sir, I really think you should lie down."

"I'm perfectly fine!" he said rapidly. "I don't need to lie down! I'm perfectly fine! Did I mention that I'm perfectly fine?"

"I warned you about the sugar!"

"Who cares? Who cares? Who cares?!"

Minion waited for his master to cool down. When he did, he slowed his chair to a stop and slumped into it.

"You know what I think, sir?" his friend asked. "I think you miss her."

Megamind blinked. "Miss who, Minion?"

"Miss Ritchi."

He fell out of his seat. "What?! Miss her? _Roxanne_? Don't be _ree-do-culous_! Why would I miss that annoying, stubborn, ill-tempered, nosy, witty, attractive…?" He stopped. "No! It was her choice to leave Metrocity and I'm happy she's going! So what if it means we never kidnap her again? So what if we have to go through captive after captive until we find one suitable enough? So what if after four years we have to change the whole routine? I couldn't care less!"

He turned away from Minion, who had worry in his eyes.

"You want another donut, sir?"

The villain sighed. "No. I just…need to be alone for a while."

The fish said nothing else and left the room.

"Miss her, ha!" Megamind mumbled to himself. "Why would I miss her? So what if I'm used to seeing her every morning on _tellie-vasion_? So what if I look forward to seeing her here, tied up, not screaming? I was perfectly fine before we met, and I can be just as fine now!"

He huffed. "Leave Metrocity! The very idea! She'll regret it! I can see her now, struggling through her career, trying to keep the audience interested! She'd still be an unknown intern if it weren't for me! Oh yes, she'll regret it!"

He had a sudden feeling inside him that he couldn't describe. "Who cares? I can defeat Metro Man with or without her! Even if I don't see her again, or hear her voice, or listen to her witty remarks…"

Then he paused as he turned his seat around to look at the old kidnapping chair sitting across the room. For a moment, he could have sworn she was sitting there, tied up, a bag over her head. He saw Minion take it off, but the fish's image disappeared immediately, so only Miss Ritchi's unconscious figure remained. Oh, all those times he had stared at her in that state. And when she'd wake up, those big blue eyes would glare at him and out of those red lips would come a sharp complaint. No screaming, just complaining and mockery. Despite the constant failure and disappointment, those moments would make up for it all.

Megamind snapped out of his fantasy, not understanding what was happening. No matter how hard he tried to shake it out, Roxanne's image kept creeping into his mind. After a while, he stamped his foot on the ground.

"Curses! I've grown accustomed to her face!"

He leaned back in his chair and for a long time, stared off into space. Then he rolled his way over to his desk. Underneath it was a box filled with tapes. He dug through them until he found the one he was looking for. He rolled to the monitors and inserted the tape into the VCR. After a few seconds of static, the screen adjusted to the image of a younger Roxanne Ritchi, back when she was an intern.

He leaned forward, remembering that day he had first seen her. Metro Man had him by the cape, but as soon as he had seen that reporter, her long brown hair and sparkling blue eyes, that didn't seem to matter. He still remembered her clever response when Metro Man had asked if she was seeing anyone:

"As a matter of fact, yes. I'm seeing you right now, as you're standing right in front of me."

Even now, that still made him chuckle. Then he thought of how he had kidnapped her a few days later. She hadn't been the least afraid, the first person who hadn't been afraid, other than Metro Man. _If only…_

He shook his head. _No! I can't be thinking any of this!_ But it was hopeless. He had abducted her so many times that she had become a second nature to him now, like breathing out and breathing in. He could not imagine what he'd do without her, without seeing her every day, without hearing her voice, without feeling the trace of something in the air. Whatever his feelings, whatever the circumstances, he needed her.

And now, any day soon, she would be out of his life forever. He could not let that happen.

He got out of his seat. "Minion! I'm going for a drive!"

* * *

After their failed shopping trip, the Ritchi sisters went back to their packing. They had to finish soon, as Roxanne was expected in Lansing on Monday. While Roxanne was in the kitchen, Rachel was working in the bedroom. She peered under the bed and found a few things under it: a comb, a sock, and a large book.

Curious, she blew the dust off the cover and opened it up. Inside were a bunch of newspaper clippings dating as far back as 2003. When Roxanne entered the room and saw that Rachel was going through the book, she gasped.

"What are you doing?"

The younger Ritchi looked up. "What's all this?"

"It's private!"

"Really? Since when is the newspaper private?"

She tried to snatch it from her. "Give it back!"

"Not until you tell me what this is!"

"It's none of your business!"

Roxanne finally grabbed a hold of it.

"Fine, don't tell me. I can guess. It's a scrapbook of all your kidnappings!"

The older sister blushed and clutched the book to her chest.

"If you hate getting kidnapped so much," Rachel said accusingly, "why do you keep a scrapbook?"

Roxanne sighed and slumped on the bed. She stared at the book.

"I almost forgot I had this," she said. "I stopped putting stuff in a year ago."

Rachel sat down beside her. "May I see?"

This time, she didn't object and opened up to the first page. The clipping on that page was dated April 16, 2003, with the headline: "Megamind Abducts College Intern." There was a photo of Roxanne beside one of the super villain. Their names were written in below in captions.

"That was the first day, wasn't it?" Rachel inquired.

Her sister nodded, but didn't say anything. She turned a page. The next clipping was dated a few days later, showing Roxanne in Metro Man's arms. Rachel cringed as she read the headline: "Metro Man Dates Young Reporter."

More and more clippings followed: "Good Defeats Evil," "Megamind Behind Bars Once Again," "Hero Saves Damsel," and then there was an interview with Roxanne from a magazine. Most of them said the same thing: the girl was kidnapped, the hero saved the day and the villain was thrown in prison.

"I can see why you got bored," Rachel admitted. "But still, why keep all this stuff?"

"I don't know," Roxanne uttered. "I guess back then, all those kidnappings really were the most exciting part of my life."

"And you think Lansing is gonna be any better?"

"Yes. No. Maybe. I don't know! I just…I just want things to be different. I just want…more."

"I still don't understand why you think moving away is the answer. What gave you the idea in the first place?"

Roxanne then explained her encounter with Megamind the day she had quit. Rachel's eyes widened.

"The way you describe it, you guys kind of sound like a married couple. You sure you're not in love with him?"

Her sister groaned. "Would you cut it out?! You know you're the only person in the whole city, perhaps the world, who thinks that?"

"Then I'm the only person in the whole world who's right."

"I'm _not_ in love with him!"

"Maybe, maybe not, but I know one thing's for sure. He's in love with you."

"He isn't!"

"Come on, Roxie, you're a reporter. Look at the facts. All the times he's kidnapped you, has he ever really hurt you? If he didn't care, would he have come to your apartment to see why you weren't at work?"

Roxanne thought about this. He _had_ looked a little hurt that day.

"No! It's impossible! But even if you are right and he does care about me, why didn't he do anything about it? And why would he kidnap someone else?"

Rachel frowned. "Gee, I don't know! Maybe it's because he thought you were dating his arch nemesis! Maybe it's because he thinks he's not good enough for you! As for the kidnapping someone else, maybe it's because that's what you told him to do!"

She hated to admit it, but what her sister was saying made sense.

"Look," Rachel continued. "Love the guy or not, he's obviously become a big part of your life. You probably wouldn't even be the successful reporter you are, um, were, without him. By kidnapping you, he's made you famous. You'd also be stuck giving reports on boring stuff like politics and the economy. I'd say he's what makes your life worth living. Now, before you make this big adult decision, answer me this: are you sure you want to give all that up?"

Roxanne said nothing. Her mind was so muddled. Then she stood up.

"I'm going for a walk. I need some air."

* * *

**Yeah, I rewatched that scene "I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face" in _My Fair Lady_ several times just to see what I can get out of it. Thanks again, Vast Difference!**


	9. Stay

**Back to school, back to work. Wanted to get this chapter done before more stuff happens. You'll notice I've been going crazy for Wreck-It-Ralph.**

* * *

Roxanne didn't know how long she had been walking, or even where she was going. It's like she was on autopilot, not even thinking. She didn't become aware of her surroundings until she heard two familiar voices. She spun around to see Hal and Lizzie coming from around the corner, laughing cheerfully. She noticed they were holding hands.

They stopped once they acknowledged her. Hal's face turned very nervous.

"Roxie, hi!" he choked. "Long time, no see!"

"How you guys doing?" Roxanne inquired.

"Splendidly!" Lizzie exclaimed, her eyes twinkling. "Hal and I were just at the arcade. When we got to _Sugar Rush_ we were simply _dying_ for some ice cream! So now we're going to get some!"

Hal gulped. "So you moving or what?"

She sighed. "This Sunday."

Roxanne couldn't make out the expression on Lizzie's face. "That's too bad. I sure miss having you for a boss. Besides, I'm such a bad reporter."

"Well, you're improving."

"By the way, what did you think of the outfit I wore today?"

"Um…"

"I know, _awful_, right? I'm never wearing a thing like that again!" She let out a shriek as it started pouring down rain. "Aw, man! Did I pick a bad day to forget my raincoat or what? And the ice cream parlor's like two blocks away!"

Hal smiled. "Then we'll have to race for it! Wanna come, Roxie?"

She shook her head. "No thanks. Um, my apartment's not far from here anyway."

"Okay, suit yourself. Come on, Liz!"

Roxanne watched as the couple rushed down the street, trying to get out of the rain as well as beat the other to the shop. She had lied about her apartment being close. It was at least ten blocks away and she could get soaked. But she simply wasn't in the mood for ice cream or anything else. She just wanted to go home.

With a sigh, she started in the opposite direction. The rain hit her arms like ice cubes and her nose was already stuffing up, but she didn't care. She heard a car driving slowly beside her, but when she glanced in the direction of the sound, nothing was there. That is, until Megamind rolled down the window of his invisible car.

"Miss Ritchi?" he called.

Roxanne stood up stiffly and walked faster. "What do you want?"

"I…I want to talk to you."

"You want to _talk_? That's a new one. If you're looking for Lizzie, she's down at the ice cream parlor."

"I don't care about Miss Lyons! I came to see _you_."

"I thought I made it clear that I want nothing more to do with you!"

"But I have something to ask you!"

She groaned, but kept moving. "What?"

"Are you still leaving Metrocity?"

"Yes."

"Where?"

"Not telling you!"

"When?"

"Sunday."

"But that's in two days!"

"No, really? Will you go away now?"

"No, and neither will you!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Miss Ritchi, I insist you stay in Metrocity!"

"Well, if you insist…I refuse!"

"Please, stay…"

"Give me one reason why I should!"

"Because I need you to!"

"I think you've already established the fact that you can get along fine without me!"

He stopped the car and stepped out. "Roxanne…"

"Go away!"

She tried running, but he grabbed her arm and pulled her back to face him.

"Let go of me!" she cried.

"What will it take for me to convince you to stay?" he asked.

"Well, you could start by letting me go and promising to leave me alone!"

"Yeah, can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because how else am I supposed to kidnap you?"

"I told you I don't want any part of your stupid evil schemes! Now let go or I'll scream! Wait. That's what you've always wanted, isn't it? Is that why you won't leave me alone?"

"Roxanne! Please, hear me out…"

"No!"

"At least let me take you home! You could catch pneumonia out here!"

"I'm not going anywhere with you!"

Megamind sighed and reached into his cape. "I didn't want to have to do this."

She tried not to breathe in the spray, but it took effect before she even realized she had.

* * *

She expected to wake up in the Evil Lair, tied to the chair, but that was not the case. This time, she was inside the invisible car. At least, that's what she figured, considering she had never been in there while conscious. The only sound was the rain beating down on the windows. When her vision came into focus, she saw Megamind sitting beside her at the wheel, looking at her worryingly.

"What's going on?" she demanded. "Where have you taken me?"

Megamind glanced behind her. "Why don't you look out the window and find out?"

Annoyed, Roxanne turned her head. The glass had fogged up, so she had to wipe away the vapor to see. She squinted through the rain and couldn't believe her eyes. In front of her was the campus of Metro City University.

"W-what?" she stammered. "What are we doing here?"

"Don't you remember?" Megamind asked, leaning forward. "April 15th, 2003, 12:57 PM. You were walking on this very sidewalk, wearing a red dress with black shoes, your hair tied back, and you were carrying a bag containing a notebook, a pencil case, a makeup kit, and a textbook on Journalism. I was waiting for you in this very spot."

She turned to him. "This is where you first kidnapped me." He nodded. "How can you possibly remember all that?" He cleared his throat and gestured to his enormous head. "Of course."

"What I don't recall, however, is why you cut your hair."

Roxanne blinked. "You really don't remember? It was your fault, you know."

He coughed. "_My _fault?"

"Well, you _did_ set my hair on fire with a flamethrower."

He slumped in his seat, embarrassed. "Oh, that." Then he brightened up. "You know what? I believe that's the only time I've ever heard you scream."

She stifled a giggle. "Not as much as _you_ were!"

"W-what?! What are you talking about? I wasn't screaming!"

"Yes, you were! You were running around the Lair, flailing your arms, screaming for Minion to get a bucket of water! I don't know what you were so upset about. _I_ was the one getting burnt, there!"

He twiddled his fingers. "Yeah, well, what good is a damaged captive?"

She shook her head. That had always been his excuse.

"Hey, I put the fire out, didn't I?"

"Yes," Roxanne stated. "But my hair was so burnt that I had to go to the hairdresser's afterwards."

"If you ask me, it was quite an improvement." She stared at him. "I mean, your hair was great before but now it's even… Oh, never mind."

Roxanne glanced out the window again and then back at him.

"Okay, why did you bring me here?"

Megamind bit his lip in hesitation. "To…to let you know that…that it wasn't a mistake…when I kidnapped you."

She said nothing, only sat there and continued to stare. She finally took a moment to really look at his face. There was nothing menacing or evil about it. She had figured that out a long time ago, but now, she could not describe what she was seeing in his expression. 'Anxiety' was the best word to use. The way he was looking at her now, it was almost as if…

"Why?" she uttered.

Megamind sighed. "I don't want you to leave, Roxanne."

It was only now that she realized he was calling her by her first name.

"Why do you even care?"

"Because…because…" He looked down at his feet. "You were the first person I'd ever kidnapped and now that I've tried kidnapping someone else, I realize…you're the _only_ person I want to kidnap. I know you don't enjoy it, and I know you've gotten bored, and I know you're not dating Metro Man anymore, and I know you hate me, but…I don't want to give it up."

He turned away from her. Roxanne was speechless. She had never seen this side of him before.

She thought back to all the things her sister had said: _Since day one, Megamind's had a thing for you._ _Whenever he looks at you, I swear, his humongous eyes get even bigger. All the times he's kidnapped you, has he ever really hurt you?_

Roxanne could feel her heart pounding fiercely against her chest. _I know one thing's for sure. He's in love with you. I think you feel the same way about him._

"No," she accidentally said aloud.

Megamind turned back to her. "What was that?"

"I mean…I…" She took a deep breath. "Take me home."

He stared at her for a moment, and then started the car. Neither of them spoke until they pulled up in front of Roxanne's apartment building. The reporter was about to open the door when Megamind said:

"If anyone asks, none of this happened, okay? I…I can't have anyone knowing, especially not Minion."

Roxanne answered without facing him. "Yeah, I understand."

"And…we're never to discuss it, alright?"

"Got it."

"And Roxanne…"

This time, she met his gaze. He had difficulty getting his next sentence out.

"I…you…you'll think about what I said, won't you?"

She looked into those green eyes a long while, before nodding. "Yeah, sure."

Roxanne quickly tore her gaze away and opened the door. As she stepped out, she glanced back at him one last time.

"Bye," she muttered.

"Good bye, Roxanne," he replied weakly.

She shut the door so she would not have to see his broken expression a second longer. It took all her cognitive power not to look back. It was not until she had reached the front door that she heard the car drive away.

"Are you alright, Miss Ritchi?" her doorman Carlos asked. "You're soaking wet."

Roxanne looked down at her drenched clothes. "Got caught in the rain."

"You need a towel or something?"

"No, I'm fine."

She stepped into the elevator and pressed the number eleven. As soon as the doors were closed and no one was there to see her, she burst into tears. She had no idea where they were coming from, only that she couldn't stop thinking of how she had left Megamind like that, alone and sad. It did not make any sense! She was not supposed to be sympathizing with a super villain, especially one who drove her crazy! Yet the tears would not stop.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket, playing a calming tune. She wiped her face and answered.

"You're timing is impeccable, Dad."

"What happened, honey?" Richard Ritchi said, hearing the tone in his daughter's voice.

"I just…I…I'm leaving Metrocity…I mean _Metro City_ in a couple days and…"

"You're having second thoughts?"

She sighed. "You read me like an open book, Dad, even over the phone."

"What's the reason? Friends? Work? You miss getting kidnapped?"

In a normal situation, she would have screamed at him, but she didn't know what to say.

"I understand you've gotten tired of the same thing happening to you every other day or so, but honestly, I think you enjoyed it all."

She groaned. "Yes. No. Maybe. I don't know!" The elevator doors opened and she headed down the hall. "What should I do, Daddy?"

Her father chuckled on the other end. "I thought you were too old for fatherly advice."

Roxanne took out her keys. "I've been wrong a lot lately."

"Well, I can't tell you what decision to make. My advice is that you do what your heart tells you."

She said nothing as she unlocked the door. Her sister was there to greet her.

"Roxie, my god!" she exclaimed. "You look like you fell into one of Blue Boy's tanks!"

"Gee, thanks, Rach," Roxanne muttered.

"Is that Rachel?" her dad inquired. "Put her on, would you? I haven't heard from her in a while. You'll think about what I said, okay?"

_That's exactly what Megamind said_. "Okay." She handed the phone to Rachel. "It's Dad. He wants to talk to you."

As her sister chattered away, Roxanne went into her room to dry off and change into her nightgown. Once she was warm and dry, she sunk into her bed. Then she noticed that Rachel had left the scrapbook there. She picked it up and turned to the first page.

She stared at the alien face for a long time. She thought back to that day and laughed at how surprised she had been when she had realized how not scary Megamind was. Sitting over a pit of sharks had been a little frightening yet very cliché, but also exciting.

She could still remember how annoyed the villain had been as Metro Man carried him by the cape in one hand and her in one arm. From his glare, she had been able to tell that it was her he was upset with, not Metro Man. She could still hear his last words before being dropped off at the prison.

"This isn't over, Miss Ritchi! I _will_ be back and we _will_ meet again!" _And again and again and again,_ she thought with a giggle. "You may not fear me now, but mark my words, I _will_ make you scream!"

That part may have never happened, save the flamethrower incident, but he had certainly made her cry today.

_Do what your heart tells you_. Her dad's words echoed in her head. What was she to do?

She continued to flip through the scrapbook. Memories flooded back with every clipping she saw. She stopped at the magazine interview and read one of the questions the reporter had asked: "What's it like being kidnapped by Megamind? What's it like being in a super villain's presence?"

This had been her answer: "It's kind of boring, actually. He can't think of anything original."

That hadn't been true. There were a few plans which weren't cliché, but were also ridiculous. She recalled the Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Kittens, the Robot Chickens, the Potato Cannon… Ridiculous, but funny.

Then there were the plans which were actually clever. Her favorite was the annual April Fool's Day kidnapping. His idea of an April Fool joke was calling Metro Man saying that he had kidnapped her, when in reality, he hadn't. It made her laugh thinking about it now, but a part of her wished she had been there to see Metro Man's reaction.

Was that why she had felt so jealous of Lizzie? Because she was getting in on all the action while she herself was moving to, as Rachel would put it, 'boring old Lansing'?

The kidnappings may have become repetitive, but that afternoon on April 15th was the best thing that had ever happened to her. And she had to admit, she had gotten used to waking up with a sack over her head, hearing Megamind and Minion's muffled voices, and seeing the super villain in his chair, petting the dome of a Brainbot, saying something cheesy, but also challenging her to a round of banter.

He would win some. She would win most of them. At least in those, she never knew what to expect. Sometimes she'd catch him off-guard and make a crack at his invention, starting another round. Sometimes he'd be on the verge of crying whenever she won, sometimes he'd groan in annoyance, but other times, he'd have a sort of look of admiration.

Was that what she missed? Not the danger, not the plans that always failed, not the publicity that came afterwards, but those little conversations and moments? Or was what she missed the very person behind it all?

_Do what your heart tells you._ There were so many emotions racing through it that it was hard to decipher its message, but there was one thing she could hear for sure.

Then she knew exactly what to do.

* * *

**Gonna leave you hanging. MWAHAHAHAHA!**


	10. Back Where She Belongs

**Just to make it clear, I never said this was going to be AU. Sorry. This was just a set up for another story I plan to write in the future and to show where the chemistry between Megamind and Roxanne began. So some of you probably won't like how this ends up, based on your reviews, but this was my plan from the beginning. Hope you enjoy it anyway.**

**References: _Galaxy Quest, Suite Life of Zack and Cody, My Little Pony _(my brother and cousin got me hooked on that too)**

* * *

It was Monday morning and Megamind was sitting in his black leather chair. Worried, Minion came over to him with a box of donuts.

"You want one, sir?" he asked. "They may be bad for you, but they always drown out your sorrows."

His boss stared at the box. "No thank you, Minion. I don't think even donuts can cheer me up."

"Sir, you've been like this for three days now. You're really starting to scare me." A thought then occurred to him. "Hey, I know! What about that Death Ray you're always talking about? That'll take your mind off things."

Megamind sighed. "Good idea, Minion, but what's the point? She's gone."

"She?"

"Roxanne. She left yesterday."

"Oh. Well, uh, so what? I mean sure, you miss her and all. I miss her, too, actually. But hey, there are other fish in the sea to kidnap…so to speak. Why don't you watch some TV, sir?"

His master said nothing and turned away from him. "I'm not in the mood right now."

"Well, okay. Suit yourself."

Minion sent another concerned glance toward his friend before switching the monitors on. He began surfing the channels, until he suddenly dropped the remote.

"Sir!"

"Not now, Minion!" Megamind moaned. "Can't you see I'm depressed?"

"But sir, you have to come see this!"

With another groan, the villain spun his chair around. Then he fell out of it. He got up and did a double take. His eyes widened, not believing what he was seeing.

"_This is Roxanne Ritchi, reporting live once again._"

Megamind's lips curled into a smile. "She's back."

Minion smiled as well. "She's back, sir."

The villain started leaping for joy. "She's back!" He grabbed a Brainbot and spun it in circles. "She's back! Miss Ritchi's back!" He let go of the cyborg, which was shaking its head dizzily. "She's back, Minion! Oh ho, she's back!"

* * *

It had not taken much for Roxanne to convince Mr. Stubbs to give her job back. He had claimed that the station hadn't been the same without her, literally. He had recently received the channel's ratings, and they weren't as high as they used to be. Lizzie had flung her arms around the reporter the second she had heard that she had returned.

"Oh, thank the heavens!" she had exclaimed. "One more abduction and I was gonna lose it! And if I had to get in front of the camera again, I swear, I was gonna die!"

Hal had also given her a warm welcome, strangely lacking a pick-up line. This made Roxanne even happier to see him.

She had called the station in Lansing, explaining that she had received a better offer. Rachel had been ecstatic when Roxanne told her she was staying, but quickly became frustrated when she realized that she would have to help unpack everything.

Roxanne was glad to be in front of the camera again. Hal let Lizzie hold it this time, which seemed to make both of them happy. When she finished her report, she expected to see a spray can appear. It never came that day, but she figured Megamind didn't have a plan at the moment. She longed to see him, but she was patient. He would come around in time.

* * *

A week had gone by and Lizzie's internship had ended. She was going to spend the rest of the summer with her parents and then return to MCU. Roxanne and Hal said their goodbyes as she got into the taxi.

"Thank you so much," Lizzie said to Roxanne, giving her a hug. "For everything, you know? This has been the best summer ever! Though seriously, getting kidnapped is _your_ thing. You should stick to it."

The reporter laughed. "I'll keep that in mind."

"You better, 'cuz if you quit again, _don't_ call me! Let some other fool take your place!" She looked down at Hal with a smile. "It was wonderful seeing you again, Hal. You'll keep in touch, right?"

"Sure," he replied with a grin. "I'll give you some tips on working the camera…and playing video games."

"You wish! Gee, I can't wait to tell all my friends about this summer! Robert will especially find this interesting!"

Hal's face fell. "Robert?"

"He's this guy in my class. We're friends, but everyone says he has a crush on me." She blushed slightly. "I've been thinking about what Metro Man said. I should probably date someone my own age."

The cameraman felt a tug in his chest, the biggest one yet. "Oh. Well, that's…"

Lizzie noticed his expression. "Something wrong, Hal?"

"Um, no, I…I'm just gonna miss ya, that's all."

"Aw, that's sweet, Hal."

She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. Hal was dumbstruck. Roxanne's eyes widened. Lizzie thought nothing of it, only continued to grin.

"Well, I best get going! See ya!"

"Bye!" Roxanne exclaimed.

The young woman stepped into the cab. As it drove off, she rolled down the window and waved at Hal. He weakly returned the wave and watched as his childhood friend disappeared around the corner. Roxanne put a hand on her cameraman's shoulder.

"Sorry it didn't work out, Hal."

"Yeah," he uttered. "She was too young for me anyway. Still, for the first time, I actually thought a girl might like me."

"For what it's worth, I think she really liked you. How many girls have the will to kiss you?"

"Nah, you heard her. She'd rather have someone her own age."

"That may be the case, but it at least shows that there just may be a teensy weensy bit of hope for you."

"You really think so?"

"Maybe."

Hal brightened up. "You know, I'm really heartbroken from Lizzie and all that, so if you wanna help me get over it, we can get an ice cream…"

"No." She turned to walk home, but he followed her.

"Okay, don't want ice cream? Forget the ice cream. We can hang out at the arcade and play some games, or my place, I got plenty of games there…and cheese fries! You like cheese fries? Anyway, I make the best cheese fries…in dip! I make dip out of cheese fries…and snow cones! No, I make the snow cones along with dip, not the snow cones in the…"

"I have plans."

"Well, I'll wait for you with flowers! To take you to Disneyland!"

"The nearest Disneyland is thousands of miles away."

"Well, if we catch the next flight, we could…"

He stopped suddenly and Roxanne heard a collapse. She spun around.

"Hal?"

She glanced down and saw the short man on the ground, his face distorted. A smile spread across her face.

"Okay, where are you?"

"Right behind you."

She didn't even bother looking, but simply let the knock-out gas overwhelm her.

* * *

Everything was dark when she awoke, but it wasn't because there was a sack over her head. Instead, she was blindfolded. _That hasn't happened in a while._ Her wrists were tied, but they were lifted above her head. She also wasn't sitting in the chair. She was crouched down on her knees. She attempted to get up, but her ankles were also bound.

She heard a familiar laugh. "Your summer vacation is over, Miss Ritchi!" The blindfold was removed and Roxanne found herself face to face with Megamind. "Back to working full-time!"

"This is new," she admitted. "I'll give you credit for that opening line."

"Really? You know, I've been working all morning on that. I had seven others planned, but this one worked best in front of the test audience."

"Test audience?"

"The Brainbots and Minion, but that's not important. Before we begin, let's clarify, Miss Ritchi, that despite the fact that you are not currently the hero's girlfriend, you will be my one and _only_ captive from now on. Any questions?"

"Yes. Why am I tied up like this?"

"Oh, you'll see in a moment."

"Another question. I get that you wanna destroy Metro Man and take over the city and all that, but if by the slim chance that ever happens, what am I supposed to do?"

He paused. "What do you mean?"

"Well, if Metro Man were gone, there would be no point in kidnapping me, would there?"

Megamind stroked his goatee. The possibility of him ever achieving his goal seemed so out of reach that he had not thought much about what would happen afterward.

"Well, you could…you could…" Then he smiled mischievously. "You know? You would make such a villainess."

Roxanne blinked. "Excuse me?"

He took a step toward her. "Well, they say no villain is complete without…without…an Evil Queen!"

Her mouth dropped open. "W-what? Did you just make that up?"

He bit his lip. "No."

Roxanne was beyond shocked, but she did her best to hide it. "Um…sorry, but I'm gonna pass. Besides, you're really not my type."

Megamind seemed a bit disappointed, but he hid his feelings too. "Oh, really? Well, uh, fine! _You're_ not my type either!" He turned away from her, crossing his arms.

The reporter took the opportunity to poke fun at him. "Is that so? Hmm, strange…"

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just that… Oh, never mind. It's silly."

"Speak up, woman!"

"Well, the other night, I couldn't shake the feeling that you were in love with me or something."

He spun around, his jaw falling to the floor. "What?!"

She shrugged. "That's the impression you gave me."

He was trapped. She could never know the truth. Villains weren't supposed to be attracted to their victims, not in the way that he was. She could never know his weakness. No one could! As long as he was the villain and she was the captive, it had to remain a secret.

So he glared at her. "I'll have you know, Miss Ritchi, that villains don't _have_ any feelings, except for anger and vengeance. I was just…feigning those feelings so you would feel so sympathetic that you would let me start kidnapping you again! And I thought we agreed never to talk about that night!"

Roxanne smirked. "So you're _not_ in love with me."

"No!"

"I think you are."

"I am _not_!"

"You are!"

"Am not!"

Minion walked in, carrying a plate of cookies. "What are you guys arguing about now?"

Megamind pointed at Roxanne. "This woman is the most annoying person on the planet!"

"But I thought you said you missed…"

"Minion!" He noticed the cookies. "What did I say about feeding…?"

"Just this once, sir?" the fish begged. "As a welcome back present?"

"I didn't have lunch yet," Roxanne said, batting her eyelashes.

The villain grunted. "Fine, just this once! But make it quick. We have a tight schedule on our hands."

"Good to have you back, Miss Ritchi," Minion said as he popped a cookie into Roxanne's mouth. "It wasn't the same around here without you."

"Minion!" Megamind warned.

"I know, I know. No friendly talk."

"Now, if you're _done_, maybe we can get on with the evil plan?"

"Yes, of course, sir." The fish stepped away from the captive. "Just promise me she won't get hurt, sir."

"Hurt?" Roxanne questioned. "Do you even know this guy?"

"I don't know about him," Megamind cackled, pulling down on a lever on the wall, "but _you_ certainly have no idea what I'm capable of!"

Her arms were nearly ripped out of their sockets as she was pulled upwards. She looked up and saw that her hands were tied to a rusted hook attached to a chain. When she stopped moving, Roxanne looked at what was below her. Her eyes widened.

"Is that a…_meat grinder_?"

She finally realized that they were in the abandoned dog food factory. _Why are there so many abandoned buildings in this city?_

"Yes!" Megamind cried.

He pushed a button and the old machine sprung to life.

"Still think I'm predictable, Miss Ritchi?"

Roxanne suppressed a scream. She could not let Megamind know how scared she was. Being grounded into chunks of meat did not sound fun.

"Um…" she stammered. "I think this was done before…somewhere."

"Aha!" the villain exclaimed. "You're scared, aren't you?"

"No! I mean…why would I be? Metro Man's just gonna come swooping in any moment to save me."

"Not if my new ray hits him! Minion!"

The fished pushed the large weapon into view.

"It looks the same as all the others!" Roxanne snapped. "Does this one turn people into fish food too?"

Megamind shook his head. "On the contrary, it turns people into _dog_ food!"

She rolled her eyes. "Okay, when I said come up with something original, I meant something original and _clever_."

He ignored her and gestured for Minion to bring out the camera. _Oh boy, here it comes,_ Roxanne thought. She could have done without this part.

"Guess what, Metro Man?" Megamind taunted to the camera. "I have your girlfriend! Or should I say…your _ex_-girlfriend?"

Minion turned the camera to Roxanne, who just said, "Oh, we're at the dog food factory, so let's get this over with!"

"Hey!" Megamind cried. "That's cheating!"

"Come on, he's not _that_ stupid!"

He signaled for Minion to cut before responding. "Are you kidding? He has meat slabs for brains! My Dog Food Ray will make the rest of him meat slabs!"

"Uh, sir?" the fish said.

"Not now, Minion, I'm on a roll here! Metro Man is so stupid, when he took his IQ test, he couldn't remember how to spell his name!"

"Sir!"

"He's so stupid, he thinks the language of Austria is Austrian!"

"Sir!"

"He thinks Equator is how you get in an Equa!"

"Sir, the…"

"Shush, Minion! He thinks a debate is what you use to catch…da fish!"

Just then, Metro Man crashed through the roof, his face red with anger. "So you think I have meat slabs for brains, huh?"

Megamind then saw that the camera was still on. "Minion, I gave you the cut gesture!"

"No," Minion said, "you gave me the 'we're dead' gesture! It seemed relevant to the situation!"

His boss slapped his forehead. "Just turn it off, will you?"

The fish obeyed and the villain faced the hero. "You must have meat slabs for brains, if you were stupid enough to fall into my trap!"

He turned on the ray and fired a beam at his enemy. Metro Man dodged it and landed on the floor.

"Is that the best you got?"

He didn't notice the Brainbot holding a gun behind him. When that one fired, the hero was instantly frozen into a block of pink ice. Roxanne's jaw dropped.

"What the…?"

Megamind laughed evilly. "Oh, you didn't _really_ think I was going to turn him into dog food, did you?! That would be ridiculous! That was just a decoy!"

"You've used a freeze ray before!" Roxanne reminded him. "He's just gonna break through the ice like before!"

"I made a few adjustments. This ice will be harder for him to escape, because it is made of _bobble gum_!" The reporter rolled her eyes as another Brainbot handed the villain a hammer. "Just one tap from this, and Metro Man will shatter into a million pieces and I will win at last!"

Suddenly, something jerked Roxanne lower. She glanced up and saw that the knot on her wrists was coming undone. Megamind didn't notice as he was too busy gloating to the frozen hero.

"Who's an idiot now? Any last words, Metro Man?"

"Um, Megamind?"

He cupped a hand to his ear. "What's that? Oh, that's right! You can't say any last words, because you're frozen!"

Roxanne tried to retie the knot, but her fingers were too sweaty. "Megamind?"

"Who knew you would come to such a chilling end?!"

The rope came loose. Roxanne shrieked and clung onto the metal hook. The machine below her was whirring with hunger.

"Megamind!"

He grunted in annoyance. "What?"

Megamind became as frozen as the hero once he saw that the rope was gone and Roxanne's hands were slipping from the hook. Minion gasped in shock.

"Brainbots!" the villain called.

The cyborgs rushed to him. Roxanne didn't hear his command to them as her mind was on the grinder she was about to fall into. She lost her grip and let out the scream she had been holding in. She closed her eyes, bracing herself, when several metal claws caught her by the limbs. The Brainbots then gently lowered her to the ground.

Megamind was immediately at her side. "Are you alright?"

Roxanne opened her eyes, meeting Megamind's green ones. They were so filled with concern, just like the other night. He began untying her ankles.

"Are you hurt? Did the Brainbots scratch you? Minion, I told you to tie her up tight!"

The fish didn't reply, for he was still in shock. Roxanne continued to stare at the villain, utterly speechless.

"Please, say something!" Megamind exclaimed. "Are you alright?"

"You…you just…"

She was interrupted as Metro Man's ice prison shattered, thanks to his laser vision. The hero found himself covered in bubble gum.

"I must say, Megamind," he complimented, attempting to wipe off the sticky substance, "you've upped your game."

He tried to move, but his feet were stuck to the floor. Metro Man glanced between Megamind and Roxanne in confusion. The villain then realized what he was doing and quickly lifted the reporter from the ground. He held her with one arm and pointed his Dehydration Gun to her head.

"Any false moves, Metro Man and she gets it!"

"You're seriously doing this?" Roxanne asked.

"Yes, now be quiet as we back slowly out the door. Minion, get the car ready!"

The fish rushed out of the factory. "I'll break you out of jail later, sir!"

His boss grunted. "Way to be optimistic, Minion!"

"Yeah," Roxanne said. "Once you're done using me as a shield, mind getting me some lunch? Being at a dog food factory makes me hungry."

"Sorry to disappoint you, Miss Ritchi, but this transportation service does not offer lunch!"

"You sure we can't grab a bite?" the reporter taunted. "I know you want to."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

She whispered. "You know, with you being in love with me and all."

Megamind spun her around to face him. "For the last time, Miss Ritchi, I am not in…"

He was cut off as Metro Man broke free from the gum and snatched the two up.

"This flight, however," the hero said to Roxanne, "offers lunch _and_ a movie."

"You know what?" she replied. "That actually sounds nice."

Megamind crossed his arms in a pout. "So you two are back to dating now. Splendid."

Metro Man was about to protest when Roxanne shook her head at him. He nodded in understanding.

"By the way, welcome back, Roxie."

During the flight, Roxanne stared at the villain hanging by his cape. She didn't know where her feelings stood, but one thing was for sure: he had a soft spot for her. He had just saved her life after all, though it was clear that his reputation as a villain was at stake. She wanted the kidnapping to continue so she could find a way to make him admit it.

She smirked. "This isn't over, Megamind."

The blue alien turned to her. "What?"

"We _will_ meet again! You may not be able to admit it now, but mark my words, I _will_ make you break!"

His jaw dropped. The woman had taken the words he had said the day they had met and used them against him. His lips broke into an evil grin.

"Is that so? Not if _I_ make you break first!"

Roxanne was stunned. "Wait, you actually think that I…I…"

"Admit it, Miss Ritchi! Why else would you stay in Metrocity?"

Metro Man glanced between them, unsure of what was happening.

"Even if I did, I would never, _ever_ admit it!"

"Neither will I! If I did, that is."

"If you don't, why did you save me life?"

"If _you_ don't, why do you want me to admit it so bad?"

"Why do you want _me_ to admit it?"

"Um, guys?" the hero asked.

They both shouted at him. "Would you stay out of this?!"

"Sorry, but we're at the prison."

Megamind glanced down. "So we are." He glared back at Roxanne. "Like I said, this isn't over!"

Roxanne rolled her eyes. "I'm the one who said that."

"Yeah? Well I said it first before you twisted my words around!"

"Okay!" Metro Man exclaimed, handing the criminal to the security guards at the entrance. "I think that's enough excitement for you today. Now go to jail like a good little boy."

"I _will_ make you break," Roxanne repeated.

"I'll break _you_ first!" Megamind snapped in return.

"Try me!"

"Is that a challenge?"

"Only if you're willing to accept it."

"You're on!"

"Okay!" the hero said. "Let's get you home, Roxie."

As they flew off, Roxanne sighed contently. She was back where she belonged.

Megamind watched as his nemesis carried the reporter off. The guards handcuffed him and escorted him inside. He had accepted Miss Ritchi's challenge, one that would continue for years to come. He had saved her life, after convincing her to stay in Metro City. She was never going to live any of that down until he admitted his feelings for her.

"Well played, Temptress," he muttered under his breath. "Well played."

* * *

**Thank you for reading and reviewing. Sorry for the delay on the last chapter. This was lots of fun!**

**P.S. Someone actually used that Disneyland line on me. It was the most embarrassing thing ever.**


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